How can I get my ex back? The most common question after a break up. The feelings of awful loneliness and despair that can follow breaking up can make it hard to see a way through the difficulties. Feelings of guilt and anger are often at the forefront of your mind – and the very first step needs to be to take a deep breath and calm your mind down.

In the majority of cases, relationships can be repaired – and even strengthened. So, calm down and start to work out a plan of action. Don't let it slide – it's far too important to just let your ex drift away. You need to plan a campaign to get your ex back.

You need to look at who you are – and why they fell in love with you in the first place. Were you confident and outgoing or reserved and silent – what characteristics made you special to them? Start to put together the pieces of the person you were, let them see that you are still the person they fell for – but perhaps more kind or more generous, or more confident than before. Act how you want to be, and after a while the actions will become how you feel.

If you can, it's good to remain socially active. You can get a lot of support from your family and friends – but you may need to seek them out. They could be embarrassed by your break up, not know what to say, so you may need to take the initiative – and you can. But take any amateur advice with a big pinch of salt, it takes a special kind of person to really know what to say, what to do and this situation, and you need to get it right, first time.

And, finally, look after yourself. Keep yourself looking good. Eat well, exercise properly and be sure to get enough rest, even if, at first, real sleep may be difficult. Personal hygiene, and grooming make you feel more confident and others find you more attractive – including your ex! You are much more likely to get your ex back if you look as if you are taking care of yourself – it's a sign of self-respect.

So there are five tips to help you get your ex back – calm down, take stock, act how you want to be, keep your friends and look after yourself. This lays the foundation of your campaign to get your ex back.