There are times when couples decide that separating for a period of time could be healthy for their marriage.  However it is also a risky move, because the separation could become so appealing that both or one of the spouses decides to take the next step, which is divorce.  In many cases, a trial separation does give the couple an opportunity to take a breather from relationship problems.  But how you come back together and make up may not be so easy.  You will need a method to win your spouse back when you are ready to do so.

Some Advantages of Separation

A trial separation can take two different forms including an informal separation or a legal separation.  In an informal separation legal papers are not filed in court.  The couple simply agrees to live apart, but that can mean different things.  Some couples remain in the same house and just live in separate bedrooms and agree to give each other the freedom to do as they please.  In other situations, one of the spouses moves out of the house and lives elsewhere.  Sometimes finances determine the arrangement.

A legal separation is recorded in court.   This kind of separation can be almost as expensive as a divorce, but it provides certain legal advantages.  For example, property may be legally divided for the purpose of living apart.

Most separations are informal though, because the separation is tried as a last ditch attempt to save the marriage and stop a divorce.  The danger is in how you try to get back together.  One of you has to make the first move, and what you say to get your spouse back is going to be important.  There is a certain way you need to act to end the separation and get back together.  That is the magic of making up.

At first, the advantages of separating are many.  You get a reminder of what it was like being single again.  You got married because you loved your spouse and enjoyed the companionship.  It is easy to forget all the loneliness and trouble of being single when a marriage runs into trouble.  But, the biggest advantage to separation is the fact that it’s reversible.  At any point you can move back into the house and resume the marriage if you learned some things while you were separated and especially if you learned how to communicate better.

I Need Some Personal Time

Sometimes in a marriage one of the spouses feels like they have lost their personal identity and gets no time for self-interest.  They have lost their sense of curiosity about the partner and they no longer have anyone to make them feel important.  More and more women and men concentrate on their work and children's activities.  Sometimes there is extended family demanding attention also.  This doesn’t leave much time for you.
If you separate and don’t spend any time repairing the marriage, it’s quite possible you will find yourself divorced.  Instead you should spend separation time exploring your feelings about your marriage and the problems that drove you to separate.  You should spend time learning how you can communicate to your spouse in such a way that they will want you back with no hesitation.  That is part of the magic in making up.

We-Time

Though you are separated, the point is to reconcile at some point.  In order to make this happen, you have to open up the lines of communication.  You can’t separate, never talk to your spouse and expect to resolve your differences.  At some point you will have to call, text or IM your ex lover to begin reconciling.  That is when you will have your "get my spouse back" plan ready.  Once you learn how to make up, you will be prepared.  A separation is serious business and so is how you get back together.  Do you know what you are going to say to your spouse to win him or her back?  Make a plan.

If you are looking for a way to stop a divorce, separation is one way to take a break from each other.  You can spend time reflecting on your marriage while enjoying a brief respite from the demands marriage can place on a person’s life.  But, separation time should be spent productively if you want to stop divorce.  This means spending the time to work through relationship problems and developing a plan.