"I care about you a lot, and I want to stay friends..."

It's crazy how things work out.  One minute you're in a loving relationship with your boyfriend... the next minute, he's demoted you to "just a friend".  As your mind began formulating plans to get your ex back, you reluctantly agreed.  Staying close allows you to still talk to him, call him, maybe even hang out with him.  And during that time, you'll be able to prove to your exboyfriend that he should take you back.  During this interm phase of platonic friendship, you'll be able to somehow convince him that you and he belong together.  Right?

Wrong.

Being your ex's friend is actually one of theworst things you can do, if your ultimate goal is to put him back in your arms again.  In an effort to avoid the pain of breaking up, you're settling for a lesser status: one where your ex gets all of the benefits of your past relationship, but with none of the drawbacks of having to stay faithful to you.  This is a lose-lose situation for you.  Not only will you grow increasingly jealous as your ex boyfriend starts dating other girls, but you'll feel more and more rejected as your role in his life is diminished.  As your ex runs off with a new girlfriend you'll be left in the dust, not even a friend, and that will hurt worse than anything else.

Saving yourself this pain is important.  "Should I be friends with my ex boyfriend?" - if you love him, you should never ask this question.  Getting your ex back from a position of friendship isnear impossible.  You can't make a single romantic move in his direction because you've already accepted the role of friend.  You can't act jealous around him either, because as his "friend" you need to be happy for whatever goes on in his life... even when that life no longer includes you.  Desperately wanting your boyfriend back while having to closely watch him on a day-to-day basis is nothing but torture, and you'll end up bitter and resentful for him not choosing to fall back in love with you.

Instead of playing the pretend role of your ex's friend, you need to concentrate your efforts on making your boyfriend want you back again.  If you want him,go get him.  You can't be his buddy, so refuse his offer to stay friends after going your separate ways.  If he asks why, give him an honest answer.  Tell him you love him way beyond friendship, and to take a step backward like that just isn't for you.  Tell him it's all or nothing: either he has you in his life as a girlfriend, or he doesn't have you in his life at all.  You're not being mean or stubborn, you're just telling him how it is.  It's unfair of your ex to expect you to "stick around" as a post-breakup friend when you still have very strong feelings for him.

Want thegood news?  The fact that your ex asked to stay friends with you means that he's not completely finished with the relationship.  He still wants you around, quite possibly in case he wants to get back together with you.  Before asking yourself should I be friends with my ex boyfriend, stop yourself dead in your tracks and refuse to accept that postion.  Pulling yourself completely out of his life will make him realize just how muchhe really needs you, and will shatter the confidence he felt when he made the decision to end your relationship.

Getting back your ex boyfriend when he wants to be friends requires astep-by-step plan.  It's always best to know what your next move should be.  The better you prepare yourself, the greater your chances for successfully getting your boyfriend back.  On the road to reconciliation, knowledge is key.