You want to get your boyfriend backas soon as possible. You have read advice and listened to the advice of well meaning friends and family. But still the choice is up to you in how you get him back. How you go about getting your boyfriend back is totally your decision and even though you feel as if your life is out of control you still have control over your own actions.

Having said that, you should also know that so called hard and fast rules such as the no contact rule might not be the best thing for you and your relationship. The no contact rule says that you should have no contact with your ex for a month or more in order to give them time and space to sort through their feelings. This is very much like the advice that your friends and family might give you that says that you should set him free and if it's meant to be he will come back to you.

But you want him back as soon as possible!Every day and every hour seems like an eternity and you just want everything back the way it was before! You might be having difficulty sleeping and eating or maybe you want to sleep all the time and eat all the time. This is not unusual. Your life has been turned upside down and the most important person in your life has rejected you.

You really don't have to wait a monthbefore initiating contact with your ex. As a matter of fact, if you wait a whole month before contacting him what kind of message is that going to send? He might think that you really don't care about him any longer or that you have no interest in getting him back. In a month he might very well have already moved on and found someone else and begun dating again if you wait too long.

Of course, if you have been trying to contact himalready and you haven't been getting the response from him that you might like it might be a good idea to give him a little space. A few days to a week might be all that he needs. This will also give you the time to come up with a good plan for what you can say to get him back.

So what kind of planmight be helpful in getting him back? Usually it is not what you say but how you say it that makes all the difference in the world. Think about it…. Once upon a time you could have probably gotten him to do just about anything that you asked if you just asked him the right way, right? Now think about how you've been going about trying to convince him to get back together. Have you been begging and pleading and promising that things will be different?

Methods such as begging and pleadingand promising to change never work. Well, if they do work they are usually short lived and he would only be getting back together with you out of pity and that never lasts long. Acting this way only makes him lose more respect for you and makes you lose your own dignity. And when you come right down to it, it is unnecessary for you to debase yourself in such a way.

You just have to be a little more clever than himand know how to talk to him. That is what communication is all about, isn't it? Knowing how to talk to someone in such a way that they want to do what you want them to do or see things your way without having to argue with them. Politicians do it all the time and with a little practice you can too.