To lose your lover is devastating – it turns your whole life up side down, it diminishes your dreams, your very sense of who you are. Yet – if you take the right action, it is nearly always possible to find out how to get my lover back.

Wallowing in self- pity won't do it! You need to put aside the hurt, the shame, the humiliation and be aware that there are proven ways to redeem the situation – ways to get my lover back and even to get the love back stronger and more compelling than before the break-up. But first you need to calm your mind down while seeking out that strategy to get your lover back.

Belief is key. Most relationships really can be redeemed – even strengthened. You may know people yourself who have got back together and saved their marriage when it might have seemed impossible. You may even know why they broke up and feel surprised that their bond could survive their behaviour. How did they do it – and if they did it – surely I can too?

Many time, getting back together happened by accident! Someone said the right thing in the right way – and they may not be consciously aware of who they did it. But – is waiting for an accident to happen really the way you want to win back your lover?

Wouldn't it be better to have a plan, one that has proved successful in the past for many other people? Too many people try and try – and fail, because they don't have a proven plan. Here are some of the mistakes they make:

1.      Some people try to convince their ex lover that they really are the "Love of their life" – but actions speak louder than words – and words alone are unlike to convince them – they may feel let down by you before. You need the right words, said in the right way at the right time for this to succeed.

2.      Some people promise to "change for good this time" – have you heard that before? Have they?

3.      Some unfortunate people apologise for everything – even it seems for being alive. No one should be reduced for apologising for simply being who they are. And who wants to live with a person like that?

4.      Then others lay the blame for it all on everything and anything else they can think of. That won't wash! Taking responsibility for our own actions as the first step towards remedying them, if we need to do so – and if you want to get your ex lover back, something needs to change! We simply have to recognise that, perhaps, we didn't behave perfectly, and allow ourselves to be "human".

5.      And then there are those who beg. Do you really want your relationship to be based on pity?

If you really want the answer to the question, "How do I get my lover back", you will need to do some research, and find out methods that have a proven success rate – and avoid the mistakes so many people sadly make.