"My ex called me!  What should I say to them?"

For anyone who's ever waited around by the telephone, getting the exboyfriend or exgirlfriend phone call is the most triumphant part of winning your ex back.  The thrill of knowing that all your hard work paid off... that by breaking contact and swallowing your feelings you've finally gotten your ex interested enough to dial your numbers again.  So what's next?  How do you handle such a call, and what do you say?

Well first of all, you'll need to put yourself into the proper mindset to receive the call.  Chances are good you and your ex haven't spoken to each other in quite a while.  If you're unsure, you stumble, or you don't know what to say?  Things could get awkward real fast.  From there, one or both of you will struggle to get off the phone - which is why you needtotal confidencewhen you're finally going to talk to your ex for the first time since the break up.

What Should You Say When Your Ex Calls You?

The opening of this call is important.  When you pick it up (and not on the 1st or 2nd ring...) you'll need to give your ex some encouragement by telling them it's good to hear from them.  At the same time, you shouldn't act too surprised or excited by the call.  Start with something like:

"Hey, what's up?  It's good to hear from you... how are things going?"

This is simple, straightforward, and to the point.  One of the things you want to do is take control of the conversation.  You actually accomplish this by being the person who talks the least.  You should alsogive your ex the impression that you're preoccupiedwith something else.  If you're not doing anything at the moment, you can always pretend.  Move the phone slightly away from your mouth for a second and talk to "someone" in the room.  Then laugh, get back on the phone again, and say:

"Whoops, sorry about that.  So how've you been?"

Allow your ex to tell you why he or she called, and let them dominate the conversation.  They'll probably start with small talk, and this is good.  It means that when your ex called you, they didn't know what to say.  It also means that they're probably pretty nervous themselves.  At this point they don't know how you're going to react to them, or whether or not they can even get you back.

After talking for a few minutes, you need tocreate a fast exit.  What should you say when your ex calls you?  As little as possible, because being on the phone for too long will make things awkward.  Make sure you're the one who closes out the conversation too - it gives you a slight advantage when it comes to getting another phone call.  Say something like:

"Listen, I'm really sorry but I've got to run.  This week is shot for me.  Call me next week and we can talk longer.  Cool?"

Your ex will nod, agree, and hang up... without even realizing that he or she just pretty much agreed to call you again.  You also created total mystery when it comes to what you've been doing, who you're with, or why you had to get off the phone so quickly.  In short,your ex will be jealous.  He or she will also wonder why you're so busy that your whole week is occupied.  They'll need to speak to you again, just to find out what the hell is going on in your life.

When your ex calls you, giving too much information is always bad.  Letting them wonder is your best bet.  Giving your ex's imagination the chance to run wild is one of the best ways to put yourself right back in their head.  And if your ex is the one who broke off the relationship?  They're going to be questioning that decision... because it seems like your life certainly went on without them.

Talking to your ex after the break up is all about having the right frame of mind.  Think positive, think confident, and think successful.  Be the person your ex fell in love with in the first place, and you'll re-create that image in their mind.  And by the time your ex is ready to call again?  They'll be thinking of seeing you, meeting with you, and doing whatever else they need to in order to get you back.  Making your ex chase you is your ultimate goal.