Dealing with a break up is always a difficult time for us.  Often times, it is very hard for both parties, sometimes only one, but there is always heartbreak one way or another.

One thing we must think about during the anguish is that no matter how much we may want to stay together and be with our ex, but they might not want to be with us.

This is also made a lot harder due to the high emotions involved at the time of the split. What I am saying here is that we can often read things into things and get the wrong end of the stick because we are highly emotionally charged and a lot of "wishful thinking" can come into it.

So, please try to think about while you are taking in this this article that it is good to take some time out for a couple of days if it was a recent end of a relationship and take stock of things to make sure you are being realistic.

You never know, you might even discover that you don't want to be with the guy anyway and it was just the loneliness, fear of rejection or "being the loser" that caused you to "wish you both back together" anyway!

On the assumption that you do want to get back together again and you do have affection for the guy and want to know if your man feels the same about you then here are a few secret strategies which might help...

For starters you need to ponder on the fact  that guys don't always show their feelings very well so it can often be difficult to tell if they do actually have a love for you.

Go back to when you were an item, how did he communicate, in fact, did the man show any feelings at all?  If they found it hard to talk about their feelings anyway then see how difficult it will be for them to talk about their feelings after a split...
Thinking about it then maybe it is preferable to talk to other people about it.

I know this may come across as a little odd but guys often talk to their friends and family more than they do to the people they are in / were in a relationship with!  It does work both ways, they may ask our friends and family about us, "IS she still single?" "Is she okay?" and of course he may show concern over the break up to his friends and family or say that he wishes you were still together.

So, if you are on good terms with his friends and acquaintances it might be a good idea to drop something into a chat when you next bump into them.  Just don't go stalking them to find out!

Of course it can also work the other way around...  I once went out with a guy for a while and his mother was always getting at him and I to marry.  Eventually we split on good terms and stayed friends but his mother was always calling me and telling me how he had asked about me and how we should start again etc. when in reality it was her that wanted it more than both of us, so be careful of possessive mother in laws!

Then again, if his mother does mention him while talking and says he asked about you then it could be a sign he still has love for you..

Now it may even come from your guy if you just seem to happen to always "bump into each other" all the time.  It might be a coincidence but it also might be something he planned in order to see you again...  I know I've done it in the past!

Perhaps the easiest way of working it out is if you can both sit together and discuss it but I realise that guys don't always like to do that so we may have to resort to running around like headless chicken always wondering but I want you to bear this in mind ladies...

Always remember that a bloke cannot make you , you.  You are your own person. A man cannot make you walk tall, feel great about yourself or make you love yourself.

You can be whole and be satisfied without any guy even though you may not really feel like it at the time so think about and gauge whether he really was the perfect love or you just didn't like to be dumped or are simply feeling  a little lost and above all be true to you and love yourself for who you are...