Broken heart, lost love - two painful descriptions that come to mind after a breakup. I recall when I broke up with my girlfriend, I had trouble sleeping and eating. I was hopeless, the future seemed so bleak, how could I possibly win back my ex? The good news is that winning back your ex doesn't just happen in fairytales. I happens all the time, not only do I have personal experience winning back my ex-girlfriend, but I also know from e-mails that I have received that others are doing the same.

Please keep in mind that during these early depressed stages, what you DON'T WANT TO DO is to desperately try to fix things.This is the wrong stage for that. As much as you may feel out of control and searching for a quick fix, the reality is things don't work that way. There is no magic text message or voice mail at this early stage after your breakup.

This means to you that you have to work with your breakup related anxiety. Desperation and anxiety are not attractive qualities, however unfair that truth may sound right now. Your ex will not call you back or SMS if you are sending out the desperate vibe.

There are techniques to get rid of your feelings of desperation and anxiety, one popular method is 'The Sedona Method' which is a powerful way to lessen the bad feelings you may have right now. Give it a quick Google search, there's lots of free info on it. The basic idea is that you ask yourself - Can I let this feeling go? If not now, when? - Along with meditating, these techniques can prove very helpful to the grieving, depressed stage that you may be in right now.

During the time that you are working on healing your bad feelings, you shouldn't be calling or texting your ex. 'Give them the gift of missing you' is a common phrase, and I know from experience it is true. You should have other activities and ways to keep you occupied during this phase. Don't contact your ex at all, and if they contact you, do not be readily available. You need to be 'busy' for the first month or so after a tough breakup.

What you are doing is getting rid of the negative clingy, anxious ex behavior. You are becoming more strong, confident, and independent. These are positive qualities that you should strive for.