Ending a relationship can be a difficult and painful experience.  It does not, however, need to be devastating for either party in the relationship.  Ending a relationship also does not have to end with anyone’s clothes scattered over a lawn or slashed to shreds. By following the 5 stages of a breakup, you can end your relationship completely and compassionately.  The common thread throughout the stages is compassion for your partner’s feelings and protection of your own.

The first step you must take in ending your relationshipisto do some decision-making of your own prior to speaking to your partner.  The first of the 5 stages of a breakup is to be sure that ending the relationship is what you really want to do.  Are you being motivated by anger or another feeling that will pass? Have you done all you can or want to do to save the relationship?  Often relationships run their course and the best decision is to break up.  If this is the decision you have come to, then it is time to move through the next stages.

The second and third stagesin the 5 stages of a breakup have to do with choosing the proper time and place and actually going through with your plan.  The time and place of the breakup are important considerations.  Break ups are best done in a face-to-face meeting if at all possible.  The location of the break up should be private enough to allow for conversation and no interruptions. Of course, safety must be the top priority in the case of volatile relationships.  Timing is also important.  A breakup should not occur before an important meeting or other such event.  You should allow your partner some time to process and recover from what has happened.

The final stages in the 5 stagesof a breakup have to do with follow through.  If you have thoughtfully made the decision to end the relationship, you must go through with it.  It is not productive or compassionate to put off the inevitable or to give false hope.  Boundaries must also be established at this point. You must establish what, if any, contact will be acceptable from this point on.Finally, in the vast majority of cases, it is unwise to “remain friends” after the break up.  Usually a clean break is the kindest end to a relationship.