Breakups suck! There’s no easy way to put it. Being able to say you survived is no small accomplishment. If you have found yourself asking “how do I handle a breakup?” then this guide should offer a little much needed help and advice.

So, how do I handle a breakup?

Don’t Cause a Scene

Hopefully it’s not too late to drive this point home. The worst thing you can do while a breakup is taking place (or in the brief period afterwards) is cause a scene. You want to be able to take the high road in this situation and keep a level head. You might feel as though your world is being pulled out from under you but you need to let your cooler head prevail in this instance and bite your tongue until it bleeds to keep from saying something you’ll regret later.

Be Honest with Your Ex and with Others

When you are able to speak without allowing the emotion of the moment run away with your mouth and your mind you need to be honest in what you say. Don’t make up things that aren’t true or spread vicious rumors about your ex. It’s one thing to be hurt and even a little (well OK, a lot) angry. It’s something else entirely to begin making false claims and/or accusations. Avoid this situation. You are better than that.

Don’t Fall Apart for the World to See

At the very least, avoid falling apart in public. This would be just as bad as causing a scene. When you are safely cocooned within the comfort of your own support group (friends and/or family) you can fall apart a little and start to go through the stages of grief. The ultimate goal is graceful acceptance. Some of us take much longer to reach that point than others. Take care that you don’t dwell overlong on the stages of anger and denial as they can lead to problems of their own when not properly managed.

Accept that the Relationship is Over

This step is often the one blow that is the most difficult to endure but learning to accept that the relationship has ended will allow you both to move on and begin looking to the future instead of being so wrapped up in the baggage of the past. When you reach the point of acceptance you will be able to breathe a little easier and face the world again with your head held high.

It’s not easy moving on or accepting the end of a relationship. No matter how long you were together learning the answer for “how do I handle a breakup?” isn’t a fun process. The steps above are small steps that can lead to healing and healthy endings for relationships everywhere.