Let's face it, it is truly gut wrenching to have the person you love break up with you. Your ex would normally be the first one you run to for comfort in a traumatic life changing event. Now they are the object of your despair. Not being able to hold them for comfort at a time like this feels so strange. If you have been through a bad break up, often involving an affair or some other breach of trust, your despair towards your ex may even be turning to rage. You have gotten to the point where you are looking for revenge and want to get back at your ex.

You wouldn't be the first person looking to get back at you ex. Most ex lovers don't want to cause any real physical harm but some do. The prisons are littered with scorned lovers that took criminal ways to get back at their ex. I am not condoning them but I do understand the rage they were feeling. When you have been dumped (especially for someone else) by someone you love it is mind numbing. Your world is no longer the same. The one person in the world you trusted, shared your body with, told your hopes and dreams to and even perhaps started a family with has shattered all that.

You may be saying, "heck yes I am looking for ways to get back at my ex". Let me tell you right now there is a fine line between sanity and insanity. You may be at the point where you might try anything. How do I know? Because I have been there.....stalking, camping out on my ex's front porch, wanting to barge in on my ex's apartment when I knew my ex's new lover was inside. Like I said, I don't condone it but I was a perfectly sane person who was contemplating completely insane ways to get back at my ex.

By the grace of God nothing did happen. But I still took revenge. I mean sweet revenge. How did I get back at my ex? I became the best person I possibly could be that's how. It may not be the greatest reason in the world for doing something but it did motivate me at first.

I admit it was not easy but I was determined to make sure she would regret breaking up with me.

First I went and got in the best shape of my life. I mean really good shape....I got ripped. Also I did something I had been wanting to do for a long time. I took swing dance classes. I don't mean stuffy ballroom swing but down and dirty "Savoy" swing...the cool stuff. I got so good at it I started to win dance contests and met a lot of fun people. One was so much fun I married her !!!

So what is the best way to get back at your ex? Turn around and go be the best person you possibly can be. Oh and what happened to my ex ? After she and her boyfriend broke up she emailed me and even wrote me snail mail letters. I truly wished her the very best and I meant it but I was no longer the angry hurt lover. She had no power over me anymore and I forgave her. The revenge I felt for her at the end of the relationship helped catapult me into the stronger person I am today. My wife is grateful for her too. If she hadn't gotten me so wound up looking for ways to get back at my ex, I never would have found my sweet wife.