Brilliant Parenting: Encouraging Positive Behaviors in OthersGuiding your child to behave in a positive manner is as easy as 1,2,3. Two business practices have been adapted for family use. The first one is compelling in its simplicity. 1. Set a Goal 2. Course Correction 3. Catch Them Doing Something Right Researchers wanted to find out what was more effective with children, praising, criticizing, or just ignoring them. They found that children who were praised experienced a 71 percent rate of overall improvement. Those who were criticized improved by only 19 percent, and the ignored ones improved by just 5 percent. You have to admit that these numbers are significant. In another experiment, researchers behind a one-way mirror observed parents as they interacted with their children. In a specific time period, 433 occurrences of negative feedback were observed, whereas positive reinforcement was used only 31 times. Obviously, negative corrections are necessary when actions could lead to injury or damage. When you observe your child expressing the desired behavior, say things like: What a cleaver idea. I'm sure glad you are my son/daughter. I noticed that you ____ - Keep it up. You're getting better and better at that. You showed a lot of responsibility when you ______ . I appreciate the way you ______ . I like the way you ______ without having to be reminded. Now you've got it. This second formula is used by successful speakers and self-help writers. It is so simple that you'll probably say to yourself, "Of course this makes sense." Here it is: Make a point, tell a story, and have them do an exercise. 1. Make a Point 2. Tell a Story 3. Do an Exercise Here are some effective exercises: Ask them to create a play, TV or radio show based on the story, have them interview an expert on the topic, have them experiment with a variety of behaviors associated with the story. Encourage your child to bring their friends in on the game. Be creative, and have fun with this. The more vivid the experience, the higher impact the lesson will have. Because these activities are interactive and interpersonal, practicing them will enhance communication and bonding with your children . |