How To Establish Rules And Parameters In A Long Distance Relationship

The long distance romance is a present day occurrence. Not so long ago, the furthest one might look for a partner was the farm next door! Today, with the advent of automobiles, airplanes, internet dating services, and e-mail communication, long distance relationships are quite prevalent. It is no longer an extraordinary event for a couple to maintain a flourishing romantic relationship, even though separated by many miles.

In a study done by Dr. Greg Guldner, it was discovered that 70% of couples in a long distance relationship who did not apply rules or negotiate changes, wound up apart within 6 months. It is therefore important that you and your partner establish rules and parameters to help assist in your long distance relationship. This could include an arrangement of not dating others, of communicating daily, and seeing each other at least once every 2-3 months in person.

It is important to openly discuss and agree on the terms of your relationship:

1) whether to remain monogamous or not when apart

2) how often to communicate

3) how often to visit

It can be easy to make assumptions, and it is not always comfortable to talk out the potential problems. Discussing problematic areas is rarely a fun time! However, when there are no misconceptions or bad feelings, and you are both on the same page, that is the prescription for a strong, healthy bond.  A long distance relationship can work if it constructed on a good foundation of trust, understanding, and determination.

Although requiring significantly more effort and attention than more conventional dating relationships, the rewards garnered from maintaining a long distance relationship can be well worth it. Due to necessity, those that are involved in a long distance relationship romance learn to be more candid and communicative, have a greater appreciation for their partner, and grow more trustful and autonomous.

Deborah R. is a masters level social worker and enjoys helping people. Are you trying to figure out different ways to bridge the distance? CLICK HERE or go to: to learn more ways of using the time apart to bring about the best relationship possible!