Be proud of and use your strengths! The lessons you have chosen to learn in the past will serve you well. They were necessary. They made you aware of the helplessness and despair humankind can take on. Will you show others there is another way? You have enough lessons and truths inside you to touch each heart with love. Let those who encounter you see your magnificence! Touch every heart with love.
In most people’s lives, and probably yours, there are great and difficult challenges. Those challenges result in much emotional struggle and turmoil. It is from the pain of these struggles,if we change our perceptions, we see we are presented with an opportunity. If we look closeenough and let go of the pain and emotional drama, we are able to see what the experience taught us. What feels painful, threatening, and uncomfortable is able to transform us and lead us into developing or recognizing our strengths.
Personally, I lived with an alcoholic, sexually abusive father. While this was not all who he was (he did have positive influences in my life), this was the painful part and the part that required me to bring forth my strength. Those who know about sexual abuse know the focus is not usually sex; it is about power and control. I learned early what it felt like to be overpowered, given no choice, forced into unpleasant situations, and to have someone manipulate me into doing things I did not want to do.
As a young boy, I recognized the lack of choice or freedom I had in this situation. As I matured in age, I made a conscious choice not to copy the abusive actions of my father, but more importantly, I made a choice never to force anyone to do anything they didn’t want to do. (My children may argue this fact, as they recall numerous times I “persuaded” them to eat their vegetables.)
The point of this Insight, the very first Insight I received, told me I could (if I so decided) take what seemed to be a loss of choice in my life and turn it into something else, an attribute representing my strength. I wondered to myself how many other people had experiences or were having experiences where they felt they had no power, no control and no choice. How could I possibly teach people there is a way to let go of all this anger, hate, and feeling like a victim? Is there any room for love in place of control and anger? How can I show peopleLoveis the onlyway out of this pain?
Who am I to think I have the wherewithal to bring this message of love to others? Here I am, a man who has stifled my past, buried my emotions, now innocently writing my first Insight, and being asked to speak of love. I confirmed to myself that I know so little about love. My strength to BE was challenged to emerge from my perceived pain of the past. Could I turn my pain into strength?
Then as coincidences go, I read a short story; it went like this:
A man looked out into the world and saw despair. He saw the starving millions and the brutality of war. He saw the devastation of nature and the selfishness of man. He wondered why this was so. One day he was so overwhelmed with all he saw, he got down on his knees, pounded his fists into the ground, and yelled at God. He yelled loudly with tears of anger running down both hischeeks, “God there is so much hate, so much crime, so much killing and you don’t do anything about it. Why don’t YOU do something about it?” Much to this man’s surprise God responded,
“I did do something about this… I sent YOU.”
This one short story called me to BE.The urge for me to present myself as a person of love became a driving force. I chose to help others. I did not know where to begin. I had enough problems just coping with everyday matters never mind trying to solve the riddle of Love. I knew I had, and I still know I have, much to learn about love. I continue to learn. It is a never-ending process and a never-ending joy.
