1. Dedicate a specific amount of time for healing, no longer than 1 month.Keep this time in mind while processing. Mark the date on a calendar. This creates the time and space to get over it. Much like a cold or the flu where recovery is just a matter of time and rest, this is committing this time to recovery.
2. Erase all phone numbers, emails, all forms of contact, and erase all pictures as well.These little reminders act as tempting hooks to pull thoughts back into the past.It is not possible to move forward while looking back without running into a wall or stumbling.This process is hard enough without these reminders. So erase them with a vengeance and declare victory. This a very important step that is taking you back from them.
3. Burn everything they ever gave you or donate it.(Disclaimer: Not to include houses, cars, boats, pets, or anything else that will get you arrested or harm others) Both burning and donating feel good. So depending on the situation an ex bonfire may not be an option in a large city. No body ever actually admits to doing this. In contrast, donating everything but the lingerie helps others and turns the negative into a karmic positive not to mention it is a slightly safer option.
4. Cry, scream, jump up and down; whatever it takes, just get it out!The worst thing to do is to hold these feelings inside. This only results in harboring resentment and an unhealthy festering of emotion. Don't let this turn you into one of those angry jaded people that you pray to God you never have the misfortune of looking at from across the table while on a date. Also, if these emotions are not released they will pop at the worst times with acts of misjudgment and regretful impulsiveness. So get it out to be in a better emotional place so you can trust yourself that you won't snap.
5. Throw out all the junk food in your house and detox the body as well as the heart.Remember, this is a clearing out phase so keep it clean; life and body don't need junk right now. Spoil the body by doing truly good things for yourself. Pick foods you really enjoy that are light healthy and do not weigh you down. Sure chocolate bonbons, donuts, and other yummy treats feel good at first but gaining the weight, the sugar highs and lows, and a possible break out sure won't make you feel or look wonderful.
6. Don't get a new hair style or commit to any appearance modifications or financial expenditures.This can not be stressed enough. A new hair cut or expensive new car will take a whole lot longer to recover from than one month, just don't do it.
7. Rearrange the furniture in your home and clean your car.This changes the energy in your home signifying a new beginning by breaking old patterns. So play some good happy music and have some fun cleaning up your home while your are cleaning out the emotional closet.
8. Contact all the people you blew off before because you were too wrapped up with your ex and apologize to them without boring them with the breakup details.This just happens. When one person comes into our lives and takes up our time and emotional space often it is our friends who fall by the way side. This is a good time to reconnect and visit them as well.
9. Exercise exercise exercise your worries away. Walk, run, whatever, just keep moving.Getting out of bed can be rough during this time but think of it this way; so long as our bodies are still our minds tend to be still as well and run in circles. When we move our bodies forward it is much easier for our minds to jump on track and move forward as well.
10. Buy 3 new outfits to wear in the near future while scoping out potential partners.This should be something casual that shows off your best assets while you are out an about wherever you might run into someone; something dressy for that night out on the town with your friends and something for a first date. This gets your mind focused on the future and it is hard to buy a new outfit and not wear it as soon as possible. This last step should be done in the last few days of your dedicated time period.
11. Last but not least, always remember the golden rule to forgive and forget; forgive them . . . and then forget them.The End
