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I've thought long and hard about why it took me so long to quit smoking.
I knew all the reasons I should but things like "premature painful death", "$4/pack x 1.5/day x 365=$2190 x how many years = $staggering", "don't kiss me your breath/clothes/hair/feet stink", "cough, cough, wheeze, wheeze, hack, hack" were not enough to make me stop. Why? I was scared.
What exactly are we afraid of? Here are three things.
1) Loss: I'd spent nearly 40 years with cigarettes. They had been my constant companions except for a couple of agonizing periods when I was an ex-smoker (not the same thing as a non-smoker, but that's another topic) waiting for my inevitable return to smoking. How could I possibly live the rest of my life without my friends? Who would calm me when I got nervous? Who would comfort me when I was sad. Who would share my joys and triumphs? What would I suck on after a meal, or sex, or the first thing in the morning, or the last thing at night, or at 3 in the morning when I couldn't sleep, or 20 times a day for no good reason at all?
2) Pain: We all know how hard it is to quit smoking! Even non-smokers and babies and cloistered nuns know. In fact, science has shown that this universal knowledge is coded in our DNA. We know that the withdrawal pangs are going to be like deep, vicious stab wounds and that they will not let up until we are one poke from bleeding to death. And we will be left with disfiguring scars to remind us for the rest of our lives of the terrible ordeal we suffered then and continue to suffer today.
3) Failure: We already live with guilt for smoking; it's stupid to do so and we feel terrible for acting stupid and risking our lives for this stupid addiction. The thought of failing and taking yet another chink out of our already shaky self image just isn't worth the risk. I already feel guilty for smoking. If I quit and fail I'll a) add an additional guilt and b) look like a loser in front of my friends and family; hey, is that a third guilt?
Here's the reality of becoming a non-smoker (did I mention that it's easy to do?).
1) You will think about smoking hundreds of times a day at first; those thoughts will diminish with time. And when you do you will remind yourself that you are a non-smoker and that non-smokers consider smoking to be a foolish and reckless habit. You would no more light up a cigarette than you would attempt to light up and smoke dog poop. Your new attitude will be reinforced by the joy you feel for being a non-smoker.
2) Seriously; I felt so good about being a non-smoker I don't remember having a single moment's discomfort during the withdrawal period (all nicotine will have left your bloodstream within three days, by the way). No grumpiness, edginess or depression either. As Carr says, withdrawal pangs are about as uncomfortable as being a bit hungry. And being a bit hungry leaves no scars.
3) Failure is only failure when you resign yourself to the undesired result. In the unlikely event you decide to relinquish your non-smoker status and start smoking again (I can't imagine you making that choice!) evaluate what you've learned form your experience and decide which of those labels you want to wear.
There is no inherent pain in quitting smoking. Any pain or discomfort comes to the table via your preconceptions. You can do this; it's easy!
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