By Susie and Otto Collins
Rob has just about given up trying to talk with his wife. It seems that every time they attempt to hash out a misunderstanding or make a tough decision together, he says the wrong thing which either sends his wife storming out of the room, makes her cry or both.
Even though Rob knows how important healthy communication is to a marriage, what exactly that is and how to create it in his own relationship is a big mystery to him. Much of the time, Rob thinks it's better to just stay quiet and get out of his wife's way.
Like Rob, it may be challenging and frustrating for you to know how to say what you need to say to your wife or girlfriend-- especially when it comes to topics that are touchy or about which you two disagree.
It might be tempting to either force her to listen to (and go along with) your way, or to just bite your tongue and mutter under your breath about a decision that was not your idea.
Neither of these choices will help you stay connected and close to your woman. Both of these choices will lead to even more distance and tension in your relationship.
Instead, try these 5 tips to improve communication...
#1: Be honest with yourself.
Before you even start to talk with your woman, know what is true for you and what is most important to you.
#2: Be honest with her.
Have the courage to be real. Let her know what you are willing to do and what you aren't willing to do.
#3: When triggered, don't shut down.
Even if you are certain that you don't want to do something (and you've shared that), don't close down the conversation. Stay open to possible ways you two could meet in the middle.
#4: Don't try to fix her.
As certain as you may be that you have the answer to whatever the problem is, ask if she would like to hear your suggestion. Approach your woman and the situation with respect and an intention to be supportive, instead of trying to fix her.
#5: Really listen.
Very few people actually listen well. Turn off the tv or computer. Set down your book or the newspaper. Look your woman in the eye and really listen to what she has to say.
These tips are probably not new for anybody to read, but it's likely that you (and many other men and women) fail to actually do them on a regular basis.
