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The continuing existence of anger outbursts from a spouse can deal irretrievable damage to a marriage.
Coping with an angry spouse can be difficult - most especially- where you have little knowledge on how to remedy the situation. Anger is a belligerence caused by a wide range of triggering actions.
Just like most other emotions experienced by humans, spontaneous anger outbursts can be suppressed with patience, cooperation, love and care. Knowing what to do to for your spouse is most essential and though it may take a while for you to see progress in this regard, be sure that any success achieve produces a stronger marriage.
In looking to suppress an angry spouse, here are six easy steps for you to follow.
Know what to do
Never engage your spouse in the course of an outburst. Rather, walk away from your immediately vicinity. Find a place to think about the circumstances that usually surround the beginning of an anger outburst.
Are there any factors that could be removed that'll help suppress your angry spouse? Are there any triggering discussions that cause the outbursts?
If the outburst was a result of a discussion or argument, suspend such discussion for later. For recurring outbursts triggered by reoccurring discussions e.g. on finances or the kids, mellow down the number of times such discussions spring up.
Hold no Grudge
Anger outbursts often lead to physical and emotional abuse. If you experience any of such from your spouse, you may feel bad about the situation but do not hold any grudges against your spouse. Think of the situation like one to which there's a cure and that cure is placed in your hands.
Analyze the Inner You
In looking to suppress the situation, you should start by examining yourself. Why does your spouse get angry? Is it a result of your actions or behavior? Do you nag or do anything that triggers your spouse? Constant nagging or some other behavior usually results in an anger outburst. Its not always true that the partner of an angry spouse is who triggers the outbursts.
Confront your spouse
Physical abuse, emotional abuse or mere arguments often result in malice. Keeping malice with a spouse after an argument is never going to prevent the future occurrence of an anger outburst. By opening the lines of communication with your spouse, you are on route to suppressing your spouse outburst.
Talking to your spouse in caring language is a way to show your spouse you're no longer angry with him and are ready to return things back to normal.
Once communication is returned to normal, confront your spouse about the situation. Tell him/her how you care about them and that getting down the bottom of this issue is necessary for you both. Be sure to do this at a time when the angry spouse is in a good mood. Early mornings or late nights on weekdays are bad times for this kind of discussion.
Rather, consider choosing a weekend or some other time where your spouse is free and in good frame of mind. If the marriage has yielded kids and you fear of having little time for this discussion, choose to get away from the kids.
Take your spouse to a hotel or rented guesthouse, some private place where you both are alone and not pre-occupied with activities. Do not bug your spouse throughout the weekend with any questions you may have. Once satisfied with information concerning the origins, and triggers of his anger, skip discussion to something casual and relationship building.
Understand your Spouse
You are now nearer to understanding your spouse. By understanding your spouse, you are less liable to committing actions that may trigger your angry spouse. Ask questions that will help you understand your spouse in this regard. Keep your ears open and listen to everything your spouse says.
Seek professional help
If you feel your spouse anger has crossed the limit and you have tried all conventional methods to calm him down, please engage such spouse in anger management classes. Your spouse outbursts may also be a result of what you're either - doing or failing to do.
It's advised you both sign up with a marriage counselor for further assistance. In seeking to suppress an angry spouse, never impose guilt; be supportive of your spouse and understand the fact that your spouse needs your unfailing support to surpass this hurdle.
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