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There are many types of extramarital affairs and no one is the same in how they pan out. There are however a similar enough theme to many affairs that we can classify them into a few different types. Using these broad definitions you can decide what is the driving for behind the affair and how to deal with it. So here are 7 common types of extramarital affairs to help you out with your relationship troubles.
1. My marriage made me do this!
If your partner is blaming your marriage for his affair then obviously the marriage is the issue to look at. However it is a poor excuse to have an affair and blame the marriage for driving your partner to it. An affair is an easy way to get something they feel they cannot get within their marriage, it is an easy quick fix because they do not have the strength to fix whatever the problem is with the marriage. Depending on if you can forgive your partner for their indiscretion this at least is fixable however, if you want to rebuild your marriage you need to find the problems within the marriage and have the strength to confront them. If your partner is still not willing to try to solve these problems then the easy way out for them will always be there.
2. I just can't say no!
This is another coward's way out, so weak they think they cannot refuse the sexual advances of another. If this is really true then you have to ask yourself if this person really is right for you, if they are this weak now can they ever change? Consider long and hard if this is the base reason for the affair as this is a psychological problem of your partner and has nothing to do with your marriage or yourself.
3. I just don't WANT to say no!
While it sounds similar to the previous type of affair this is actually better in some ways. If they did not want to say no it means they had a conscious choice and took it, this means they had to make a decision to go that far meaning there was still many reasons for them to say no but more reasons in their mind to say yes. If you can discover what made them make that fateful decision you can find the underlying problem and possibly save your relationship.
4. I am not in love any more!
When your partner says this it can often mean they actually do not feel the excitement of being in love that you had at the beginning. All relationships lose that hot spark over time but they mature and become a different sort of love. Some people cannot make that transition however and feel if that first passion is not there consistently then the love is gone. This drives them into affairs for the excitement and thrill and what they feel is love. If they can learn to accept a new form of love you may be able to win them back if that is your wish and it may be a way to spark that first romance again as long as they realize the passion and excitement cannot last forever, if they cannot then more affairs will happen.
5. I did it to get revenge on my spouse!
What did you do to deserve this treatment? An affair is a terrible way to punish your partner and is childish and immature to boot. However you can at least pinpoint the reason for the affair and can work to solve this issue. However if it is your partners habit to punish you for perceived wrongdoings you must ask yourself if this is the sort of person you wish to be with. Many people who make this decision do it on the spur of the moment however and can be remorseful about it. Those who do it as a calculated action should be avoided.
6. I needed to prove to myself I am still attractive!
This is a major self esteem issue and is something that can be reversed if you can forgive them. This is the sign of a deeply unhappy person not at peace with themselves or their relationship. Sometimes it can be masked with a certain amount of ego and bravado but under it is usually a scared individual.
7. I just wanted to be close to someone!
This is a sign of intimacy problems within your relationship. Whose fault this is does not matter at this point, they have erred by having an affair but this is a person looking for love and if you can still give it to them you can save your relationship. If you do give them all the love you can this may be a problem with them accepting your love for some reason.
While there may be more types of extramarital affairs these are some of the most common and if you can use this guide to pinpoint the type that your partner has committed you can make the right decision for your relationship!
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