If you and your spouse have found that you have no other choice and you think that you need to get a divorce, here are 9 important tips to help you stay out of the divorce court.
1. The first thing you must remember is that neither you nor your spouse is the type of person you used to be when you were first married. Throughout your marriage your experiences, your lifestyle and the birth of your children may have changed who you are. Trying to go back to that person is impossible, so your relationship will never be the same. However you can restructure the situation to ensure that your needs are met.
2. You will need to take the time to find out about your spouse all over again. With the tons of things you both have to do every day, you rarely have time to spend time with each other. You have jobs, children, community activities and many other things that will keep you from being together. In order to save your marriage and keep you from losing touch with your spouse you will need to schedule your spouse for some good old fashioned romance time, just so you and he can be together and reconnect on a one on one level.
3. Take a long hard look at who you have become and ask yourself if you would still marry you. When your marriage is ruined the first thing most people do is put the blame off on their spouse, however in order to save your marriage, you will need to see what part you played in the demise of your relationship, and what you can do to change it so that you can get back together. In addition take the time to make yourself attractive, have confidence in yourself, you will need to find out what is was about you that got him excited in the first place and make yourself look and act closer to that person.
4. Take a look at the arguments you and your spouse have been having, go over each one in your mind and find out what caused them. Look at how you handled the argument and think of ways you could have avoided that situation. Look into your part in the arguments and ask yourself if you used your strengths against your partners weaknesses instead of trying to see their side of the story. Also look and see if that argument became more of a fight and how you can keep it from going that far next time. This is very important to your marriage that you learn how to argue constructively so that you dont alienate your spouse.
5. Get out of your everyday patterns, when you get stuck in a routine, your marriage becomes boring and stale. You will need to take the time to find a few things that can put the excitement back into your marriage.
6. The most important is to remember to love only your spouse. You may notice others that are physically attraction and think Wow, the grass is really green over there however everything always looks better from where you are standing. Once you get to the other side you may find that the problems are worse and wish for the husband or wife you always had but now your relationship has been destroyed by divorce. However if you take the time to simply love the one you have you can keep your marriage together and not start all over with someone who may not be nearly as good as the one you have.
7. You will need to take the time to communicate, talk to your spouse and learn how to listen to your spouse.
8. The most important things are that any changes that are positive can have a profound effect on your marriage. So you should spend time fixing the things that you can fix and stay away from fixing those that you cant. You will need to use patience when your spouse does things that make you mad and be tolerant of his more annoying habits. Learning to do these things will help the relationship and keep you married.
9. If you feel that you need further help, you should look toward finding professional help. In order for you to have a successful marriage you must be positive about the changes you may be asked to make by your counselor. They will teach you things that should help you to revitalize your marriage and prevent you from getting a divorce.
If you really want to fix your marriage and stay together, you will need to take all the right actions to make your marriage work. You will need to be both patient and tolerant, as fixing a marriage will take some time. Take the time to get to know your spouse and look toward his strengths instead of focusing on his weaknesses. By being steadfast to your commitment to your spouse you will ?id=1" " keep your marriage intact and avoid getting a divorce .
