When I first saw Lady Gaga and her desperate attempt to be controversial, I thought she was another Aguilar or Spears on steroids. I realized, however, my first impression of her was wrong. On a snowy Saturday morning, like most of the cabin-fever-pitched blizzard neophytes in the DC area, I was trapped indoors by the historical storm that slammed the metro area.
With boredom occupying every inch of the house and the wine bottle empty, I decided to turn on the MTV music channel, where they actually play music, while I did some housework. As I was loading a pile of dirty dishes into the washer, I heard this smooth, bluesy voice that reminded me of Janis Joplin with a bit of Joss Stone. I was wowed by the deep power of the voice. It was Lady Gaga. I've come to learn that not only does she have an incredible voice she also writes her own music. I really wasn't gaga over the Lady when I first saw her. Now, I admire her talent and love her videos.
Unfortunately, us mere tone-deaf mortals without a lick of musical talent usually don't get a second chance to make a great impression. We have to abide by the standard rules of initial contact.
To prepare for this article, I sent out an informal, one-question survey to Twitter followers, Facebook contacts, LinkedIn connections, former colleagues, friends and family. In all, I posed this question to approximately 3,000 people located around the globe in various professions and with different lifestyles. You gotta love the reach and speed of social networks.
Regardless of these differences, the responses were overwhelmingly similar. Making a positive first impression requires a combination of emotional, aesthetic and physical attributes.
People overwhelmingly cited handshake, hygiene, eye contact and positive attitude as the make or break first impression traits.
Hand Shake
We all know how important a handshake is. In fact, a few people I surveyed even said they actually practice handshakes with their children to teach them the right way to greet people.
Handshakes need to be firm but not too firm. Too firm means you're trying too hard. Forget about fingertip bobs and the wet noodle grabs. These shakes give off impressions of weakness, disinterest and/or low self-esteem.
Finally, all you need is one up and down motion. Multiple shakes give off a nervous vibe.
Hygiene
Hygiene goes beyond a morning shower. You should also make sure your fingers and fingernails are clean. Dirt under the fingernails is an immediate negative impression. The nails should be trimmed short and smooth. I know a lot of men are uncomfortable filing their nails but having smooth, short nails gives you a polished look. And other than Mitt Romney, who couldn't use a more polished look?
Let's not forget about an attack on the olfactory sense. Take it easy on the perfume or cologne. I was dining out with some friends when a guy was seated in the next booth over. As soon as he sat down, the smell of his cologne smacked us in the face and had us gagging for fresh air. It was overpowering.
Spray the cologne or perfume one or two times into the air and step under it. That's all you need. I guarantee it.
Finally, before you step into a meeting or an interview, do the gunk-free check:
- no junk in the corners of the eye
- nothing hanging from the nose (this includes nose hair)
- nothing caught between the teeth
- no white stuff in the corners of the mouth
- no snow flakes on the shoulders
- no toilet paper stuck to the shoes
- no lint, fuzz, animal or human hair on the pants and jacket
- fly zipped
- blouse buttoned
Eye Contact/Eyes
Eye contact and eyes made it to the top five list. People want eye contact. They want to see your eyes when having a conversation. Eye contact instills trust and confidence. Shifting and wandering eyes can come across as discomfort or distrust. It can also make you look like you're lying or skirting the truth.
To avoid staring and making the other person feel violated and uncomfortable, move from the eyes to the nose every so often. When making an important point, underscore your emphasis by looking the person straight in the eyes.
Positive Attitude
No one likes a naggy Maggie, peeved Steve, mad Chad or negative… mmm… people. Meeting someone for the first time can be uncomfortable and awkward. The key is stop thinking about and anticipating a clumsy meeting or things that could go wrong.
If you're preparing for an interview, focus on the strengths of a company and yourself. When meeting a potential customer or client, think about how your product or service can help your client achieve his/her goal.
As a professional, you've already prepared for the interview or meeting. You researched the company, created a SWOT grid, and perfected your presentation. You're set.
Before meeting with your interviewer, client, or customer relax and see yourself at the beach with an endless supply of frozen margaritas or wherever your happy place is. Be positive and walk into a meeting with confidence.
The other traits that made the top 10 list are:
- Clothes: Pressed, clean and lint and pet hair-free. No garish or loud colors or patterns.
- Shoes: Scuff free, heels in tact and polished. Ladies, kitten or 2-inch heels, max.
- Smile: Genuine (no need to show both rows of teeth) and often
- Hair: Shampooed, combed and styled
- Confidence: Not to confuse with arrogance. Confident people recognize their weaknesses. Arrogant people ignore and try to compensate for them.
- Body language: Stand up straight (No, your mother didn't write this.) Uncross your arms. Take your hands out of your pocket. Nod when appropriate. Tilt your head occasionally.
