There is nothing that is more surprising or hurtful than the bitter sting of a personal attack. And no attack is more personal than being falsely accused of something that involves your child. Whether it is an accusation of directly harming the child like a physical assault, or mental abuse, or if it is an accusation in an attempt to keep you from seeing your child like drug, or alcohol abuse it is all very personal.
One of the worst things about it is that you realize, in a very personal way, how venerable everyone is to these false accusations. Of course the focal point that makes this such a horrendous offense is that it could cost you time and even a relationship with your child. And it is that hard wired genetic parental sense of protection that gets triggered. It isn’t really about you, it is about keeping your child safe. And here you are being faced with leaving them in the protection of someone who has no problem with harming their relationship.
The 2 major problems you typically face with false allegations are:
1: The element of surprise. This is normally sprung on you and you have no idea it was coming.
2: The difficulty of disproving a negative. There is no good answer to ”Have you stopped beating your wife?”
On the other hand you do have to tools that work in your favor.
1: The complete lack of a documented history. While you probably have loads of email or texts complaining about clothes, food, or something trivial. Where’s the major allegations complaints?
2: The motivation driving the allegation. Why resort to false allegations? You must be doing something right.
Because it caught you off guard, you were not prepared to deal with it as quickly as you should. Depending on the type of allegation and how it came about, you may find yourself kept from your child, or finding it in court documents that were served on you. Either way it is an unpleasant feeling.
If you find yourself talking to a CPS worker or court worker unexpectedly, you should make sure you ask the question, if they know you are in a high conflict custody battle. This in most instances is all they need to hear. If you don’t say that and find yourself in much more dire straits, then share some email or texts with the investigator. Then ask the question, if this is such a horrible crime, why is the other parent concerned with daily tasks in their communication with you? Why not address this horrible accusation directly?
While you cannot directly disprove a negative, you can point the light and ask why now? Above all, don’t panic. This normally means you were doing well and they fear losing control. Keep your cool and ask why now? Why this? Why not before? These cases are painful but they can be won if you ask the right questions.
