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When custody hearings are first scheduled a parent typically has no idea what to expect or what they are in for. Many naïve parents believe that if they put their best foot forward they will be rewarded for being cooperative. But the real world could come back and severely penalize them for doing the right thing. When it comes to child custody cases and coping with a high conflict ex, the last thing any parent can afford to do is let their guard down or put their faith and trust in that angry ex. Do not let your good heart or honesty get in the way of watching out for your child. One question I see time and again is what are the rules for visitation when there is no visitation schedule yet? Many people will try to be nice and wait for the first hearing to get a temporary order, but this is probably the worst thing you can do. If you believe your child would be best suited to a particular schedule, then you need to enforce that schedule from the start. If you are threatened with police action, there really is not anything that they can do because there is no order yet. The issue here is that when you go for your first custody hearing you will likely be looking to have a temporary visitation schedule ordered. The most likely visitation schedule to be ordered “temporarily”, is the schedule you have been keeping before you came to the hearing. If you do not like that schedule and cannot agree in mediation then you may have to wait until you get to an evaluator 6-12 months later. By that time the child has settled into a routine and it becomes nearly impossible for you convince any court official to make a change. So the best advice is to do whatever you need to do when it comes to creating a visitation schedule before your first hearing. Visitation schedules can be changed in the future but it is a very long process that you need to have a change of circumstance before you can even file. Getting through that process can take 12-24 months easily. The amount of time you will lose with your child because you wanted to be honest, upright, or respectful is simply not worth the effort and the gesture will never be recognized or appreciated.
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