|
|
 Acne (1,500)
Addictions (1,500)
Advice (1,500)
Allergies (1,092)
Alternative Medicine (1,500)
Anti Aging (1,500)
Breakup (1,500)
Cancer (1,499)
Dental Care (1,500)
Disabilities (1,500)
Divorce (1,500)
Elderly Care (1,498)
Goal Setting (1,500)
Hair Loss (1,500)
Health and Safety (1,497)
Hearing (1,500)
Law of Attraction (1,499)
Marriage (1,500)
Medicine (1,497)
Meditation (1,499)
Men's Health (1,500)
Mental Health (1,500)
Motivational (1,500)
Nutrition (1,495)
Personal Injury (1,499)
Plastic Surgeries (1,500)
Pregnancy (1,496)
Psychology (1,500)
Public Speaking (1,500)
Quit Smoking (1,500)
Religion (1,499)
Self Help (1,500)
Skin Care (1,500)
Sleep (1,500)
Stress Management (1,500)
Teenagers (1,492)
Time Management (1,500)
Weddings (1,500)
Wellness (1,500)
Women's Health (1,500)
Women's Issues (1,500)
|
Once parents have a custody and visitation order in hand you would hope that the high intensity conflict would become subdued and allow everyone to get on with their lives. But what happens when you give the child more time and then the yelling, accusations, and controlling behavior start back up? We all know that the custody and visitation schedule isn’t a perfect document. We all know that there could be improvements and certainly exceptions to the rule. Big hearted honest parents will give their child more time with the other parent when the child asks for it and conditions are right. But sometimes this opening up and giving, can turn into a nightmare making you resent that you ever allowed any extra time at all. This is certainly true when you need to keep the schedule the same as the order. Somehow people think that just because the order wasn’t followed once it is all null and void. This is not true. Court orders are provided for parents to follow when they cannot agree. It gives them a base to start from. Once an exception is made that exception only applies to the time frame that was negotiated. Until a new order is filed the old order is still valid. Plain and simple. So how do you reduce the high conflict again? Pretty simple really. Go back to the order. Don’t engage in any arguments or any type of conflict with the other parent. Simply state you are going to follow the order until things settle down and you feel like negotiating a change in the schedule. Of course this is hardest on the child because the other parent will blame you and tell the child that you are the bad guy because you changed the rules. From this point you should be careful about what you tell the child. If the other parent has made you out to be the bad guy and has turned the child to agree with them, you will want to explain that you want to let them have more visitation time but that you need to the follow the custody order that the judge signed. Part of that order is that for a change to happen both parents need to be calm and agree. If the parents don’t agree then the order needs to be followed. That is a truthful statement that doesn’t blame either of you. They are probably bright enough to know that if mom and dad got along they would live together. So there will be periods when it is best to follow the order.
|
|
|
