In high conflict child custody cases any time you file a motion or a reply to a motion you cannot possibly know what will eventually be settled on. Even when I comes to something seemingly as simple as a holiday rotation that any reasonably sane person would adopt, it seems that the other parent can throw up seemingly insurmountable obstacles. One of the ways to get past those obstacles is to be prepared with a list of what you would like and why, as well as knowing what alternatives you have and how they might benefit both the parents and the children.

Of course you will always have the parent that throws a tantrum no matter what suggestions you make, just because you made them. But the court has a process to deal with them, normally called evaluation (sometimes handled in a variation of mediation). If you have offered not only your preference but numerous alternatives all to no avail, the evaluator will most likely help you out because they can please at least one parent.

So let’s delve into some of the typical schedules. All of these can be mixed and matched to suit your purpose:

• Alternate weekends Saturday, Sunday (return Sunday)
• Alternate weekends Saturday, Sunday (drop off at school Monday)
• Alternate extended weekends Friday, Saturday, Sunday (return Sunday)
• Alternate extended weekends Friday, Saturday, Sunday (drop off at school Monday)
• Week on, Week Off
• One weekday (no overnight)
• One weekday (overnight)
• Two weekday (no overnight)
• Two weekday (overnight)

When it comes to holidays, you can take just the one day or you can take the included weekend. The included weekend would be much preferred. Now a look at the holidays:

• Presidents day
• Martin Luther King day
• 4th of July
• Memorial day
• Labor day
• Halloween
• Thanksgiving
• Christmas

But are school breaks normal? Absolutely! Let’s have a look:

• Winter Break
• Christmas Break
• Spring Break
• Summer Vacation

With the exception of summer vacation, all of these holidays can normally be split between the parents in a odd and even year sequence. This gives the child lots of quality time with each parent. Summer can be handled like the rest of the year with 2 weeks of vacation for each parent or you can get creative as well.

What you must keep in mind is what is going to work our best for your child. Think about how  you can  make sure that each parent has plenty of time to build a quality relationship with the child. If you can’t get there from the start, make sure you document how the current schedule doesn’t work for you and why. Then when you head back to court with why it doesn’t work for you, you can also bring the solution with you.