So… You’re in the breakup and eager to get them back. You feel unhappy and depressed without them, and the situation seems hopeless to you. But the fact is… Probably right now they haven’t made a firm decision yet… And still “sit on the fence” – and that’s very good thing for us, just learn to use it… And you’re back in the happy and romantic relationships again! In fact, this stage is the most common – and it can lead to reconciliation in days (if not hours!). So let’s get to the solution and strategy…
So what is “fence sitter stage” in a nutshell?
It’s the way people make their decisions… And the way people DELAY them… Because they’re not sure
There are 3 main stages:
1. Your ex is off the fence, feeling good and not willing to get on the fence.
2. On the fence, but firmly fixed. Can observe all the opportunities and options he or she has.
3. “Sitting on the fence” stage is the most usual after making a big decision that affects their whole life.
This is a normal process that takes place when people make all the decisions in their life… Including small decisions, medium decisions and big decisions… But when dealing with small decisions, we do not usually recognize the fence because it’s too low, and doesn’t arouse our fears anxiety.
But… Let’s thing about big decisions for a moment… A big purchase, for example…
A house or boat maybe?
For a long time you were absolutely satisfied with your house and didn’t even think about changing it… Ever(Off the fence)
But then...old house became too small for you, not enough space for the young and growing (meaning children) family and… Pretty soon you were “sitting on the fence”, but not really entertaining the details.(On the fence, but firmly fixed and pretty stable)
Finally, because of growing dissatisfaction of your family members or a sudden opportunity you started to explore your possible solutions, and fear came into play.
You're starting to wobble... You don’t know what to decide!
When someone is at this wobbling stage, they usually are extremely emotional and
may get angry and irritated at a mere drop of a feather! So it’s much easier to get them on your side too… If you know how to do it correct. So if you’re determined and ready to take action, you will have a very good chance of pushing them back into your arms… Softly and gently – without them even noticing...
But… Let’s apply some empathy here. What you think you would do, how you would react to “salesy” behavior if you were buying a new car? Probably along the lines of this phrase: “Stay away! Get out! Let me make my own decision!” Right?
So the point is – the more you push on them while they’re on the fence, the more distant and angry they become… So it’s not the smart way of doing things. So you need to avoid it. Hope this helps you to achieve your goal of getting your ex back while avoiding the most fatal mistake – chasing them and being clingy.