There are numerous articles, websites, and organizations that are dedicated to fighting for fathers rights. The common knowledge seems to be that father face an uphill battle and that mothers will always do better in family court than fathers. But are these based on truths or perception, or could something else be going on here?

If you search on fathers rights, fathers custody rights, or any other variation of these terms you will find a listing of websites that will try and tell you that if you are a father you can expect the family court system to fail you miserably. In my experience with fathers seeking a custody order they often start their conversation by capitulating their position and asking how much visitation time they can get if they throw themselves on the mercy of the court.

So imagine how a father who has no representation and simply accepts his fate would be treated by the court system. He would simply take what was given and then perpetuate the notion that the de facto standard is still intact. But it doesn’t need to be that way.

In my experience fathers are at a gender disadvantage when the child is an infant and is still breast feeding. But after that the gender gap narrows considerably. There are still problems that occur more frequently for men than women but they are primarily based on things like routines. If a man is the primary caregiver (as has been dominant in our society) and mother stays home to raise the child, then the court may be reluctant to change the routine. But this issue is about changing the child's routine and not the gender. This outcome is based on routine an not gender.

What that tells us is that if a man takes the time to educate himself about how the family court system works and applies that knowledge to his own personal strategy, then he stands a great chance of getting the outcome he expects. This is a far cry from the poor man that simply shrugged his shoulders and let the system happen to him.

But what about the man who can’t afford an attorney to represent him? Can he still expect to have a favorable outcome against his ex’s attorney? I believe he can. It takes dedication and time to learn the system but it can be done and the results can be better than you ever imagined. The reason is that if a man handles his own strategy he can take advantage of his intimate knowledge of the case and the ex and exploit that knowledge when the opportunity presents itself.