Child custody cases are always nerve racking because there is so much at stake for you and your child. If you’re new to filings and hearings though it can be put you even more on edge. This is a new world that you have no experience in so how will you know if you are making the right decisions?

The first thing you want to do is understand that the family court child custody system is a civil court not a criminal court. You will want to educate yourself about your local jurisdictions procedures, protocols and rules. You will want to pay close attention to the steps involved in the custody process. Know what each step is for and how it fits in the big picture.

Of course you are asking “why do I want to know the whole process for my first meeting?”. You want to know as much as you can because you want to be successful at your first hearing and set yourself up for success for the rest of the child custody process. The more successful you are early on, the more likely you will get the results you want and end your case early in the process.

The first hearing is where you are going to lay out your child custody case including exactly why you want to make the changes you want and why they are in the “best interests of the child”. You do not want to include any drama about the other parent as the drama between the parents is no relevant to the case unless it directly affects the child. If you make that claim and then are later proved wrong, you will suffer the consequences for the life of the process. That process could last for many years if you are involved in a high conflict child custody battle.

Once you list the items that you are asking for and why they are in the best interest of the child in your filing, you will want to make a sheet for yourself that has bullet points of every issue documented in your filing. While the filing is complete and you will want your copy in court, it will not have the bullet points of each item. Judges frequently lose track of what has been covered. It is your job in court to make sure that each item you filed about was covered in the hearing. If not, you will not get a ruling and will need to file an additional motion to cover the missed points.

Be certain that your filing is clear about each item and does not ramble. The reason is that judges will read your filing before the hearing and be familiar with it. You will get about 15 minutes with the judge for both sides to present their case and for the judge to ask questions and rule. You may likely leave with at temporary order. That order may become the basis for your final child custody order.

To summarize, you need to lay out your filing clearly because it may be the basis for a permanent order, make bullet points to yourself and be prepared to do the whole thing in your 5 minutes in court.