I think it would be fare to say that everyone has attempted to make a few changes in their life at one point or another. And, I'm willing to bet that you have as well. Perhaps you've tried to increase your self-esteem, eliminate your fears, achieve financial freedom or attract love? In response to those common aspirations, many folks have turned to positive affirmations as a solution. However, I must confess, there has been a plethora of inaccurate and disingenuous information published regarding positive affirmations. Today, I'm going to cut through all the jargon and give you the straight and skinny. Bottom line, an affirmation is a tool. It can be an effective tool, but it is still just a tool nonetheless. And, if you attempt to use that tool without addressing your core fears and insecurities, you will fail! Think of it like this. The affirmation is the tool or hammer. But, if you attempt to swing it with a broken arm, you won't drive the nails home. Therefore, I'm going to show you how to build a strong arm so you can effectively swing the hammer. To accomplish this, I'm going to use a bit of an allegoric exercise.

You may recall the old SNL skit called "Daily Affirmations" that was performed by Al Franken, whereby he played a motivational, self-help character by the name of Stuart Smalley. The character was intended to be a spoof on individuals who are obsessed with the actual act of going to therapy. Stuart became quite famous for directing folks to look in the mirror and affirm the following coined phrase "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone It, people like me!" I'm going to take Stuart Smalley's skit a bit further. For the sake of teaching you how to use affirmations effectively, let's add a second mirror. OK! So now we've got two mirrors. How about if we call the first (PAM) for positive affirmation mirror? And, let's call the second (FEM) for Fear and Ego Mirror.

OK! Let's begin the exercise by defining the goal. For this particular example, let's pretend that you are attempting to attract love. To get started with the exercise, I'd like you to walk over to (PAM) and look directly in the mirror. Next, repeat the following affirmation three times:

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone It, people love me for who I am!"


To proceed, walk over to (FEM) and look directly into the mirror. As your gazing into your eyes, a voice suddenly emerges from the subconscious abyss. It's your ego, and he's by no means an optimist! Immediately, he begins to pummel you with the following barrage of negativity:

"You're not good enough, you're stupid, and doggone it, no one loves you because you're a loser!"

OK! Now, head back over to (PAM) and repeat the following affirmation three times:


"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone It, people love me for who I am!"


Next, walk back over to (FEM,) and get ready to brace yourself for the following:

"You're not good enough, you don't deserve a loving partner, and doggone it, no one loves you because you're not pretty or smart!"


Are you beginning to grasp the concept? This counterproductive cycle can be repeated indefinitely, and on some occasions it is, without dealing with (FEM) or the ego. At the end of the day, you can verbally affirm anything you'd like, but it won't come to light if your subconscious, self-limiting beliefs are standing in the way. If you want to strengthen your arm, you must relinquish your fears and insecurities. You've got to take a course of action that is a direct and opposite response to the fear. For example, if you've been struggling with personal identity issues, you've probably spent most of your time pleasing others, often at your own peril. Basically, stop appeasing others and start pleasing yourself! If you question your intelligence or worthiness, this is likely a result of the unfettered opinions of others. Stop listening to such verbal garbage by kindly informing the guilty party or parties that it's inappropriate. And moreover, tell them that you don't really care what they think! Truthfully, what you think is the only thing that matters!

In summary, positive affirmations can be great tools, but there's really no escaping the inner journey. You can use affirmations like "I am attracting the right person with the right qualities. He/she will appear when I am ready," however, to make it effective you must correct the issues at the core. Do you possess the qualities that you're describing? If not, it's ludicrous to assume that you will attract a partner that does – merely by stating your intention! In essence, love is like a magnet. Consequently, it can not be forced or chased. When you get right down to it, attracting love or a soul mate is not complicated. However, it does take courage. And, that is why most folks are unsuccessful. Bottom line, you must relinquish your fears and insecurities and grow to love yourself. When you accomplish that task, love will find you!

Best wishes,

David Roppo
The Relationship Rehab Coach

For more information on how to attract love or save a relationship, click on the link below....

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