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When your marriage breaks down , nothing in your life will feel quite right. You worry about your future and the future of your family. You wonder what you might have done differently. Depending on how serious the issues between you and your spouse are, you two may even be close to contemplating a separation or divorce. If you're not ready to wave the white flag of defeat and give up on your relationship, you need to act now. With the right guidance and fierce determination, you can reconnect with your partner and get your marriage back to the loving place it once was.

Pointing the finger of blame at your partner when your marriage breaks down is going to do little good. As much as you may feel your spouse is the one causing all the strife in your relationship, that's probably not the case at all. You both have to take responsibility for the state of your relationship. If you have indeed been casting the blame at your spouse, stop that now. Talk to them about your part in the problems and what you would have done differently. If they see you taking responsibility for your mistakes, they're likely to do the same. This is a very important step towards rebuilding the connection between you two.

Once a marriage begins breaking down many couples fall into an all too common trap where they start focusing on their partner's negative qualities and forget their positive attributes. You can typically tell when this happens because the couple will constantly bicker about the smallest things. That escalates regularly to a large fight where hurtful insults are thrown around. This can be incredibly damaging to the foundation of the relationship.

Make a vow, beginning today, to only focus on the positive qualities that your spouse possesses. Compliment him or her on them more and overlook the things that typically annoy or upset you. If you do this for a few days you'll start to notice a change in your own attitude and your spouse's attitude as well. The anger and hurt that was a regular part of your exchanges will be replaced by courtesy and kindness. This can make a dramatic difference in the dynamic between the two of you and is an important first step towards rebuilding your marriage .


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