You wake up one day and your marriage is shattered because your husband just dropped the nuclear, infidelity bomb on you! Turns out he’s been having an affair for months. You knew that your relationship wasn’t exactly a magical one, but you never expected him to cheat on you! And, what complicates the painful emotional crisis even further is the fact that he won’t stop his behavior, nor does he want a divorce! Ironically, he claims that he still loves you! Your emotions are running rampant at this point, and you have been thrust into a painful state of confusion! Your thinking; how could he hurt and betray me like that? Why doesn’t he want a divorce? How could he still love me? Is there still hope for our marriage? What should I do?
Well, the first thing you should do is step back from the situation, remove your self, and take a few deep breaths! The worst thing you can do is allow your emotions to drive your actions because when you do it always ends disastrously! Yes, he cheated on you! But, unless you want to pull the plug on your relationship or get a divorce, you must realize that he’s in the driver’s seat right now! There is a way, though, to remove him from the driver’s seat! But before we get to that lets talk about…….
What you shouldn't do!
One of the very worst things that you can do is beg your husband to stop cheating on you, and continue to tell him that you love him over and over. Remember, he strayed from the marriage for a reason. And, acting from desperation will only prove that he did the right thing!
I know you want your husband to stop cheating on you, but you can’t force him to change! So, trying to change his behavior by treating him to romantic dinner dates, buying him lavish gifts, giving him flowers, offering romantic gestures, or kowtowing to his beckon call will only worsen the crisis! He strayed from the marriage because his emotional needs have gone unmet, and those needs are directly related to your self-esteem and confidence. Therefore, over rowing the boat will only confirm the fact that you are not very confident!
How to Save your Marriage!
Saving your marriage is really all about change isn’t it! If you could only get your partner to spend more time with you, work less often, be more understanding, more romantic, more intimate, and completely monogamous then you would have the perfect marriage! Wouldn’t you? You’ve probably tried to get him to change his behavior, but the harder you try the worse it seems to get! Doesn’t it? The more you plead and prod the more he continues his cheating behavior! Doesn’t he?
Just because your partner told you that it’s not his fault that he cheated, or that he blames the failing marriage on you, doesn't mean that he can’t change! As a matter of fact, he already did change!
Think about it! In the beginning of your marriage your partner was the loving, caring, and understanding person that you’ve always wanted, but somewhere along the line your partner changed, didn’t he? Unfortunately, it wasn’t in a way that contributed positively to your relationship! Therefore, he did change, and it’s possible for him to change again!
You see, very few women realize that the secret to beating a cheating husband is not force or manipulation but rather attraction!!!!
But, when faced with the emotional betrayal of marriage infidelity, most women act out of desperation and inadvertently make the situation worse!
The key to stopping your cheating husband in his tracks is to get to the bottom of why he strayed in the first place. Once you uncover the unmet emotional needs that are at the root of his behavior, you can swiftly remove him from the driver’s seat! But, by approaching your marriage infidelity from the correct perspective you will accomplish much more than that. You can end his infidelity without even asking him to do so, and you can get him to fall hopelessly in love with you all over again!
For more information on how to Beat a Cheating Husband click on the link below……
Best wishes,
David Roppo
The Relationship Rehab Coach
