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Women, this is a must read for your spouse. Pass it on for your sake, and even more, his. Don't let fear keep your partner from experiencing this life-changing event.

Sadly many women would prefer that dads stay out of the delivery room. In a survey taken by The Royal College of Midwives, 38% of women said they would rather have someone else in the delivery room with them. One in six mothers claimed men got in the way, while four in ten fathers admitted they felt "fairly useless" during the birth.

Many men wouldn’t dream of not being there but find that when they are actually in the room, they’re redundant. Some men are scared but consider how she feels. It isn’t much to ask for you to stand by her side. You can do that literally, just stay by her head if you get grossed out easily and are worried about fainting.

Men, prove to us women you aren’t just useless in the delivery room. Your spouse will be grateful and it will bring you closer together than anything else you have ever done. Most important is to pay attention to what she wants. Some women want to be left alone during labor. If that is the case then leave her alone. Communicate with her and let her know you are there for her if she needs anything.

What you can do to stay busy and to help her.

* For some women the most important thing is to hold her hand so she knows she’s not alone.
* Give her words of encouragement and support. Ex. “You’re amazing,” “You’re doing a great job,” and “I never knew you were so strong.”
* Show her love. Tell her “I love you,” “You’re so beautiful.”
* Remind her why she is in this pain. “We are going to be parents soon,” “You’re going to be a great mom.”
* Get her a cold rag and wipe her forehead.
* Feed her ice chips.
* Message her feet or hands.
* Bring a CD player and be her DJ. Making her a CD of her favorites would be cute.
* Be the photographer.
* Get her a gift before she goes into labor and give it to her. It will distract the pain and make her really happy. A mom necklace would be nice.

What NOT to do.

* Never, and I mean NEVER tell her “Don’t Yell”. Leave that to the nurses. Let her hate them for it.
* Absolutely no TV. If a TV is in the room don’t think about it unless she ask.
* Don’t get in the way of the nurses or doctor.
* Don’t bring food in the room. She won’t be able to eat so don’t tease her.

The decision about whether or not to attend the birth of your child is a personal one that should be made prior to labor pains. Men should discuss their feelings with their partner and both should select the option that will best suit them as a couple.

If you absolutely CANNOT see yourself being present for the delivery of the baby, consider a couple of alternatives. You can arrange to have another labor partner present so that if it all gets to be too much, you can leave the room either for a short time or until after the baby is born. You can choose to be present just for the labor or conversely just for the birth. You can also come in directly after the baby is born to celebrate the new life.


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