With the world and technology often moving faster than we do it can be challenging to keep on top of everything everyday. As a busy working Mum myself I thought it might help others to explore some of the successes and failures I have had in trying to find the perfect balance, the perfect day, the perfect blend of what works for me.
After more than 10 years in the corporate world I thought of myself as having two professional careers, one in real estate and one in recruitment. At 31 I was introduced to my third career – Motherhood. With the addition of our first child my world turned upside down, in a good way of course, what a challenge. This little person did not do as he was told, would not enter into negotiations and had his own routine that I had to work with – not exactly what I was used to. Oh, did I mention that he didn’t finish at 6pm and go home? He went on 24/7 in a relentless quest of feeding, sleeping and crying. And so began the challenge of trying to integrate being Super Mum with feeling that sense of worth and achievement I was used to from my work.
Now 35 years old I’ve had several years of experience juggling work and being a Mum and I’ve almost got it right. In the course of my own self reflection I thought it would be pertinent to break down the day into bite size pieces in order to make it clear. Start with two blank pages, one will be the ‘perfect day’ and the other will be the ‘real day’ and put time frames on everything. In order to bridge the gap we need to see the land on each side of the river so we know what type of bridge to build.
Below is a very stereotypical example of a Mum’s life working from home which may help you get started. I say stereotypical as I know it will not be everyone’s situation but it does present a reasonable base to work from. If we take an average Mum with a partner and two children and an average day which has 14 available hours per day (7am – 9pm) for Mum to work, manage kids and keep house here’s a list of essentials a Mum needs to squeeze into her day:
Personal Presentation (shower, make-up, dress, hair etc.) - 1 hour
Working on business - 6 hours
Children Drop Off to school/kindergarten (drop off and pick up) - 2 hours
Washing/Ironing - 1 hour
Cooking/Food Preparation (3 meals per day for 3-4 people) - 2 hours
Actual Food Consumption (sitting at table with family) - 2 hours
Cleaning/Housekeeping - 1 hour
Shopping/Errands - 2 hours
Time for Mum (read a book, watch TV etc.) - 1 hour
TOTAL 18 hours
So with 18 hours of commitments during the day and only 14 waking hours to do it all in the problems Mum can face are more than obvious. Here are my tips for managing it all:
Routine
Ensure you have a daily routine that works for you. If you find your day is always better when you’re up, dressed and showered before the kids rise then sacrifice that extra 30 minutes of sleep and get ahead of the game. If you find the washing all piled up by Friday and no-one has anything to wear on the weekend then make Wednesday your ‘one load day’ where you just do a little bit to stay on top. Knowing what the children’s routine’s are and how they fit in with yours helps too so maybe putting a weekly planner up on the fridge outlining who has what on that week will help you be in the right place at the right time. Finally, stick to it. There is no use investing all this time in planning your day/routine if you don’t work with it. You know it takes 28 days to break a habit so it might take 28 days to make the improvements to your routine.
Distractions
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you can have coffee with your girlfriends every second day because you’re ‘working from home’ now. You are still responsible for the same amount of work and you need to treat your work seriously because, as one of my mentors once wisely told me “If you treat it like a hobby it will pay you like a hobby. If you treat it like a business it will pay you like a business.” Procrastination can also be a big time killer….don’t pretend your mind hasn’t ever wandered off thinking ‘I’ll just make a cup of coffee’ or ‘I’ll just go call the school about…’ or ‘I’ll just go and see the neighbour for…’ If you have set aside 9am to 12noon to work then work, don’t waste you’re time. I know as Mum’s we can underestimate the value of our own time so don’t devalue yourself.
Work Space
Get comfortable. Ensure that you have a work area that is consistent with fantastic productivity for you. If you prefer to sit up straight at a desk with your computer then create that space – even if it’s at the kitchen table. If you’re better on the couch on the phone being relaxed then get your favourite cushion and flop away. Research tells us that we operate most productively in an environment where we are comfortable. Own your space too, put up post it notes on your wall, get a pen holder for your desk or whatever makes you feel important and assists you in facilitating those same successful feelings you used to get in your corporate office.
Time for you
With all the work, chores and responsibilities of a working Mum we can often forget about the most important person in the equation, the one who makes it all work. Stop and think for a minute…if you had one spare hour a day to do anything you wanted for yourself, what would it be? Would you go for a bike ride, read a few chapters of that novel still sitting untouched by your bedside, or take that yoga class, start sewing again, or join the local basketball team for a weekly game? How would you spend your hour? Now I am a realist and I can hear the complaints coming already as I know you don’t get an hour a day but let’s make it an hour a week. One hour each week for you to do something for yourself, remember this article is to help you get balance! If nothing changes, nothing changes.
Working can be easy if we take it seriously; like anything that rewards you it takes effort. So when you’re next feeling like it’s all getting on top of you stop and reassess. Look at what you control and what you can change to make your working life at home better. Hopefully these tips and insights into balancing the many different expectations that we place on ourselves and that others place on us will help you find a better balance.
