Being the Best Man is a true honor from any Groom, but hidden behind the pride lurks the part every man fears - the speech. Four hundred eyes are expecting personality, insight and most of all humor with a brief and confident speaker, yet the calming effects of the champagne from this morning's breakfast will have already worn off and the nerves are building by the minute. A little planning on content, structure and delivery is all it takes to impress the entire wedding party and avoid that dreaded awkward silence.
The key to hitting the nail on the head is working out the point of the speech. Consider what the wedding party would love to know about the couple that will add value to the event whilst keeping the party in the same high spirits the day has sought to provide.
Planning
Before putting pen to paper, be clear on the personality of the couple the speech is for. Using the same humor as the newlyweds means that the audience, who are their close friends and family will also find it funny. A good Best Man speech can prod fun at the Groom repeatedly but must always be respectful to the Bride and her family, unless there is a close enough relationship to pull it off. The language should be kept simple and jokes should certainly not cause any offence. The audience will be a mixed bag, so playing it a little on the safe side will certainly pay off.
Opening line
This is by far the deal maker or breaker. Many Best Men fall at the first hurdle by ignoring one simple rule to success, and that is that the first line will set the tone for the whole speech. A line such as "I remember the day John and Sarah met..." is a good way to start off as a quirky anecdote will certainly add humor to the opening without going too over the top. Once the crowd has started laughing, the nerves will easily ebb away. An introduction is another good starter as the crowd may not be aware who everyone in the wedding party is, and this throws in an opportunity for the speaker to joke about himself a little.
Structure
One tried and tested way of composing a speech is the 'Sandwich'. This technique involves starting and ending on a simple and respectful tone, keeping the more risqué content in the middle. This is a safe way to warm up a crowd and also end on a high note. Of course, there are no rules to the correct structure of a best man's speech, it can be thought of in similar terms to a letter - it needs to have aims outlined at the beginning, the main content in the middle, and a polite and uplifting finish.
Content
Simplicity is key in the Best Man's speech. Anything over 5-7 minutes will start to seem a little long-winded and the audience's attention may begin to dwindle. An important fact to remember is that the Best Man speech is a toast to the bride and groom, not a stand-up slot for the Best Man, and whilst it seems the perfect opportunity to show off humor and writing skills, he is best keeping it short and sweet. Always end with a toast to the Bride and Groom, and be sure to thank all of the wedding party and guests for their role in the big day.
Delivery
Public speaking can be tricky and there are many hours of classes one could enroll in to learn how to succeed. A well written speech will often deliver itself, but there are factors that can help. It is largely frowned upon for the Best Man to be drunk and slurring during his speech, so as a rule of thumb drinking should be kept to a minimum until after the toast. Picking three inanimate objects around the room to alternate speaking to will help with focus and minimize distractions. When finalizing the speech, prompt cards held at waist-level will not cause a distraction and shaking hands will go undetected. Keep the sentences simple and identify a point to pause and take a deep breath every 10-20 seconds at least. The speech should be well-practiced beforehand, as this will not only aid delivery and memory, but can help identify the points that do not work as well or are unnecessary.
Remember…
Enjoy the speech. The whole point of a wedding reception is to celebrate and appreciate the happiness this marriage will bring.
Give thanks. The wedding would not be such a success without the help of many people around the room. Take time to honor those who have played a part in the organization, such as the parents of the couple, the chief Bridesmaid, and venue staff amongst others.
Embrace emotion. Whilst big boys don't cry, the Best Man can get away with it. Any genuine emotion should be accepted with pride and displayed as such. Be aware, however, that anything more than a muted sob will set off many more around the room.
