Christine made a major mistake. She saw Paul talking to her best friend Andrea and thought he was flirting with her. Christine worked herself into a fury and broke up with Paul.
It turns out that he was really consulting Andrea on how to put together a surprise romantic Valentine's date. He was really hurt that Christine would think so little of him and didn't want to have to do anything to do with her after that.
You may think that you can not win your lover back after such a situation. But let me tell you what Christine did to get Paul back.
Paul wasn't talking to her, so she couldn't discuss the situation with him. But she could write him a letter. She got some nice paper and hand wrote an apology. She admitted that she had flown off the handle. She also told him what she liked about him and about the relationship. Finally, she expressed gratitude for his thoughtfulness in planning a romantic date.
Then, she shut up. She didn't call, text or email him for a week. By not pestering him, she gave him time to work through his emotions.
After a week, she sent him a short and sweet "thinking of you" email. She kept it casual.
Paul was obviously nuts about Christine because he was willing to go to the trouble of impressing her on Valentine's Day. But, he was also hurt. Because Christine had apologized and given him time to work through his emotions, he was able to respond to the "thinking of you" email.
The night he got the email, he called Christine. She tried to keep things light and fun. Paul appreciated that. So, he suggested they meet for coffee and Christine agreed.
Christine went out of her way to look like a million bucks. She wore the earrings Paul had given her for Christmas and she put on the perfume that he liked so much.
Christine decided that she would only talk about positive things. She especially tried to bring fond memories into the conversation. She also asked about his family because that would reinforce their shared history and closeness.
Paul appreciated this. He loved Christine and didn't want things to end. But, he didn't want a repeat of the situation either. He needed to be reassured that their life together wouldn't be filled with needless drama. He also needed to know that talking to another woman wouldn't set off fireworks.
The couple agreed that they would take the relationship to a less intense level. They would really court each other again. They would stop taking each other for granted.
A year later, Paul and Christine agree that the break up may have actually saved their relationship over the long haul. While Christine initially flew off the handle, her calm handling of the situation afterward made it possible for them to move on. She showed that you can win your lover back .
