Commitment horror is the fear and dodging of having to commit to something, relationships in particular.
You may be wondering what kind of care is free for commitment dread. First the qualities has to want the help and be disposed to work with a shrink.
The counselor or counsellor wants to decide about whether the persona honestly is a commitment disturbed or if there is some other personality disorder organize. If it is determined that the qualities genuinely has a commitment terror, then the therapist and her client need to work on uncovering what triggered the glitch.
However, what is certain is that the persona has a catch and that drawback is belief bad in some way, whether the mood is labelled "commitment terror" or not! The good news is that it is much easier to work speedily with altering a reaction than it is to go the old fashioned Freudian tailor of uncovering childhood traumas or skeletons in the cupboard.
Understanding the roots of a life limiting behaviour does not necessarily alter it. Changing the way you feel, on the other hand, forever alters behaviour. Once we have established that we can work directly with feelings, the underline shifts from the so-called commitment terror itself to a completely different quarter: does the persona with the behaviour accept that he or she actually has a drawback?
This is much trickier, especially as there are forever two of you in a relationship. The "commitment fixated" can forever say - and justly judge - that he is not the one with the poser, but that there is some flaw in you that causes him to stray or run away altogether. And if you are the one on the getting end of that, your character confidence can take some solemn blows.
It is so that I included the person prize rebuilding strategies and an eloquent course clearly to change feelings in my instruct to mend a destroyed kindness: "How To Trust Love Again When Your Heart's Been Broken."
My guidance about commitment fear then becomes much simpler. First, halt labelling it. The very word "commitment phobia" or "commitment fixated" sounds like a disease, and no one likes to be labelled "unhealthy." It's behaviour that one of you at least finds grueling. If the person with the behaviour does not have a poser with it, then actually they are not ready to change it. We never change behaviours that feel more comfortable than the alternatives.
Secondly, understand that to change behaviour, you first need to change how you feel - not about one another, but inside. It's not testing when you realise one thing: if your commitment phobic, then ironically, you are committed to the behaviour of phobia!
It sounds like a hoax but it isn't. It is your help. Somewhere you know what it feels like to be committed to something, even if that commitment is not conscious and is not producing the outcome you longing. Harness the sympathy and you have the key to change.
