When someone wins the lottery, others lose.
When a person wins an "alimony lottery" the other person and his or her future relationships lose. The grave effects of paying alimony are often overlooked by the media and especially the court system. There doesn't seem to be much sympathy for men or women who are forced to pay alimony. There isn't much thought by the court system as to the ramifications of alimony on relationships down the road.
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The issues created by paying alimony are overshadowed by other family law focuses like deadbeat dads not paying child support. Deadbeat dad issues get sympathy from the media since it affects children. Rightfully so, men need to take care of their kids and should do so without any if, and, or buts. However, unlike child support that ends at 18, paying alimony can last a lifetime. You want to be divorced. Move on. Close the wounds.
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"I believe that the facts of the case emphasize the need for re-examination of the entire concept of alimony and the continuing viability of that concept in contemporary society. Put another way, the question facing the Court is whether a judicially imposed system of involuntary servitude is to be continued wherein one human being is placed in bondage to another for what is effectively the remainder of his natural life."
Idaho Supreme Court Justice Shepard in Olsen v. Olsen, 98 Idaho 10 (1976)
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Imagine being financially tied to the person you divorced so that you wouldn't have to interact with them? In most cases, the person receiving alimony is an able body person capable of earning a living. Instead, like anyone on entitlements, they sponge off of the ex-spouse. Where is the justice in this? Why should a person be subjected to archaic laws and be forced into involuntary servitude and peonage, so that the recipient can "live in the lifestyle they have become accustom to"?
Mainstream media, listen up: families are suffering out there because of alimony. Especially with the economy in the dumps, some people are being forced to support two households and are barely holding on. Listen to groups like Alliance for Freedom from Alimony . This is a real problem and isn't getting the attention that it needs.
There are real people out there who are hurting. Here are some of the alimony slave stories. You'll be surprised to hear from women who are victims of this archaic practice.
The following were found on the website, Alliance for Freedom from Alimony :
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Posted: Tuesday, April 6, 2010 - A Woman's Point of View
Guys I am right there with you. I know I'm a woman but I am absolutely against alimony in this day and age. It's barbaric and there is no reason for it.
I myself am a divorced mother of 2 kids. I get no child support (my choice) and no alimony . Matter of fact I was originally ordered to pay child support and alimony because I educated myself and made more money. So I kind of understand what it is to get screwed.
On the other hand, I am remarried to a wonderful man who is in the same boat as all of you. He pays his ex close to $2000.00 a month to sit on her ass and do nothing. They were married 9 years and he has permanent alimony.
We have a 2 year old together that he barely sees because he has to work an offshore job in order to pay his alimony and help out with our family that we have created.
You're right it isn't fair. It needs to stop. There is no reason for it.
And as a woman I can say, for all the lazy ass women out there who need to get off their ass and get a job, Piss off and go back to work. There is plenty of help out there for education, daycare and such because I have used it.
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Posted: Tuesday, March 30, 2010 - Having to Work an Extra 13 Hour Weekend Shift the Rest of His Life
And just how many ex spouses can we be ordered to support?
I would still like to see a list of how much money everyone pays to support an ex spouse. What is an, "ex spouse," really worth? Might there be some injustice in the differing dollar amounts we pay?
Was it illegal for the female judge to order me to liquidate my 401(k) retirement account to pay for my ex's attorney bills? When her attorney found I didn't have enough money to cover his bill, he was kind enough to let me make additional payments over two years, interest free! What a guy!
Maybe the female judge figured that since I was a Registered Nurse, I might enjoy helping strangers going through a period of illness in their lives, so I wouldn't mind working an extra 13 hour weekend shift every week for the rest of my life, to support an abusive, and at times, mentally ill ex, that set a fire in the house, and frequently threatened to kill me, for stupid things like making eye contact with someone, or walking into a neighbor's home.
The judge, most likely thought I enjoyed it when my ex accused me of having affairs with her friends, her daughter's friends, my sister, my Mother, and, what brought me to the breaking point, our two Long coat Chihuahua's.
God help me Bill. I pay $1395.00 a month. I know Doctors and Attorneys that pay less, or nothing at all! How much to Judges pay in alimony cases to their exs?
Have we come out with new bumper stickers yet? A bumper sticker that can be read from more than two car lengths away? We need bigger, more legible, more aggressive bumper stickers. How about one that shows, Permanent Alimony Equals Prison, Paid Or NOT !!! Or, in place of the "Paid Or NOT", have a picture of a person behind Prison Bars. And make it large enough to be read by the average person's eye sight at five car lengths away. How much would we have to pay in dues to get our message on billboards! We have to put an end to Alimony!
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Posted: Sunday, March 28, 2010 - Wants to End Forced Labor!
I would like to get more involved in ending Forced Labor. I've been paying, paying, paying, for over five years.
I gave up a Palm Beach Garden home and $1,400.00 a month to get away from a 15 year marriage to a bipolar spouse that threatened my life, and started the house on fire. She was taken away by the Police, and volunteered to spend two weeks in a mental institution.
The female judge gave me two days to move out of the house, declared her totally disabled, even though she regularly walked two miles to the grocery store, at her choice, or rode her bike. I feel like getting on the Montel show, to tell my, our, stories.
Permanent Alimony is Forced Labor in America, which to me amounts to Slavery, which even China just banned. There must be an end to this injustice.
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Posted: Friday, March 19, 2010 - Family Law System Destroys the American Family
It's the same old same old. I lost everything and the "X" vacations in Europe. But what is unique is that I was sentenced to pay lifetime alimony. The "X" is to receive the court ordered alimony from my estate after I die. This is part of the divorce settlement.
The "X" is litigious to a fault and has already threatened my daughter in law with a law suit should I leave my granddaughter money for her education. So we know she will sue any beneficiary of my estate such as a future wife. This means I really can't get married and expose a second wife to this kind of litigation.
I have been in a relationship since 1992 and we did try to get married by our pastor but that avenue is blocked with statues that make it unlawful to marry without a license. They enforce this statute by jailing the pastor on a misdemeanor charge. The point I am trying to make is that the family law system has destroyed the American family.
I think what bothers me most of all is that my son did not marry after seeing how his mother worked me over in the courts. This makes my only grandson and name sake illegitimate.
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This is just a sampling of what alimony does to the family. Each state has its own laws on alimony, so be careful about getting married. Use this as an unconventional source of wisdom to help you make better choices before getting married. Remember, marriage is a legal contract.
For more information on alimony reform resources and to get involved with an organization to reform the laws, visit Alliance for Freedom from Alimony.
