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Relationships or love is much like a drug addiction. You will go through withdrawal pains just like from drugs. And it can be just as devastating to your life. A break up will cause you more pain than you ever thought possible. If you have ever endured one, you know what I am saying is true.
This loss is a grieving and must be dealt with as grieving. You must be able to look past the pain of loss if you are not only going to survive, but to thrive afterward. It will seem impossible but it is possible to heal and move on.
The misery caused by a break up can be most devastating if it is not controlled and handled properly. The depression caused by the break up can leave you almost decapacitated.
I found it almost embarrassing to feel like I felt when I thought of all the folks in the world with real problems, hurts and pains. It however did little to make me feel any better. I doubt I has you either. So read on.
So what to do?
I know it feels like you are the only one who has ever felt or will ever feel the way you do right this instant. There is an old saying. It may help if you think this thought every time you think of your lost love. "This too shall pass." Repeat it like a mantra if you need to. The point is do not dwell on what was. This is a time for healing, not dwelling on what was.
Trust me, there is someone out there even better for you. Dwell on that if you must dwell on something. But while you are doing that, spend a bit time analyzing yourself and what you did to help that break up along and fix it if you can. If you think you are or were in love before, wait until you fall in love the next time.
Wayne Dyer once told a depressed woman to go do something, when she went to him all depressed. She asked him what she should do. He simply told her, "Anything. Do anything. Go do something." And that is so true. I know when I am active I do not have time to think about what was and feel sorry for myself and neither will you.
Go do those things you wanted to do before you got hitched up.
Go dancing.
Date. Date. Date. Just do not get serious too fast with anyone.
Go to the pub, if you like it there. (Don't drive drunk though.)
If you job will let you go on a vacation, travel and see some new things.
Take a night class at the university.
Go golfing, running, or swimming. Do something active.
Spend some time with those single friends of yours.
The point is to dwell on the good things in your life. Make a list of all the things you have to grateful for. And I mean ALL the things you have to grateful for.
Don't forget the farmer who grows your food and the folks that harvest it for you and the trucker who brought to market and the market who stores it for you. Or the roads they travel on to take it there or the trucks that does the hauling.
You get the idea. Things you never thought of before and took for granted. Be grateful the time God allowed you to spend that loved one and all the things you learned from them. Be grateful for this challenge and ask for direction on how to make it work to your best good.
Remember the most important thing about this break up is "This too shall pass."
Think happy thoughts and you will have happy things in your life. I promise.
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