Don't misunderstand – I am a fan of being busy! There's nothing better than doing work you love . . . work that makes a contribution and creates results . . . and work that feeds your brain, heart, and soul.
If you're busy with that, congratulations! You're unique. For many of us, though, "busy" is a frenetic, slightly-to-wildly out-of-control feeling that wehopeis beneficial at some level – but realize can be damaging at the next.
If, when asked to describe you, the first word others use is "busy," maybe it's time to ask yourself these questions:
What reward is "busy" giving me?
Being busy can bring you great gifts. It can increase others' perception of your value ("She's always so busy – she must be important"). It can accelerate your learning and growth ("I just have to dive in and tackle this stinker and then I'll know it cold next time.") Or, it can even keep you away from the Rocky Road because you don't have time to eat (at least, I hear that happens).
It's powerful to know how "busy" is rewarding you. If you're not sure, stop and ask yourself the question above again. (It doesn't take long – hey, I know you're busy!) Pay attention to the first answers that pop up in your gut.
Does your answer make you feel great? Are the rewards of value to you? If so, keep doing what you're doing. If the answers are cloudy or make you go "hmmm," then read on . . .
What is "busy" costing me?
When you asked yourself how "busy" was rewarding you, did your answers sound more like punishments instead? For example, my clients have said busy gives them:
- Sleepless nights, which makes me a grouch.
- Too many projects to juggle so I don't feel accomplished in anything.
- The twitches – I physically flinch every time I hear the buzz of my Blackberry.
- Guilt – I feel guilty having fun since I think I should be busy.
Yuck. If those things sound like you, it's time to break your "busy" bias, and it starts with taking three bold actions.
1. Practice your priorities.
2. Click less.
3. Brave boredom.
Bold Action #1: Practice your priorities.
In my work with aspiring leaders, we create strategies that create success not only for their organizations butalsofor themselves. Finding that sweet spot demands you understand your own priorities based on your values, strengths, needs and goals. Your company's priorities are often obvious (i.e., make more money, generate more customers) – your personal priorities are often not.
What's most important toyou– not your company, customer, or even family or community? If you're not sure, maybe it's time to make a list. Also, a great coach or mentor can help you get clear on your priorities and work with you to create action plans that connect directly with them.
Another way to assess your priorities is to ask yourself, "If a family member or close friend got seriously ill tomorrow and I needed to be with them, what would I stop doing?" This happened to me five years ago when I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. I suddenly left my lengthy to-do lists behind in exchange for doctors, tests, and surgery. Many months later, with a misdiagnosis behind me and a clear bill of health, I revisited my list and discovered two surprises. First, the things that were important got done by someone else. Second, frighteningly enough, half of the list didn't get done – and no one noticed.
With your priorities front-of-mind, it's easier to decide what to say "yes" to, and more importantly, what to say "no" to.
Bold Action #2: Click less.
How much of your busy-ness revolves around managing email and other electronic communication? For me, I have three email accounts; a blog; LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter accounts; plus occasional use of instant messaging, Skype, and texting (although my sister keeps increasing my texting requirements.)
Enough! In my work with aspiring leaders, over-clicking is a top contributor to busy-ness without being a clear contributor to busi-ness.
What to do? Click less.
Boldly decide to let something go. Set your boundaries that you're unavailable by any media after a certain time at night (or until a certain time in the morning.) Choose your "click free zones" (for me, the car, the bathroom and anywhere there is one other person and food are good places to start). Abandon tweeting and use Twitter only to search for people and ideas when you need them. Turn off your instant message program for most of the day, or "hide" your availability from all but your most crucial colleagues.
Are you hyperventilating thinking about any one of the above actions? Maybe you're like some of my clients, who have said, "In my company, it's an expectation to respond immediately to emails or texts. Ican't click less." That may be how it feels, but what's really the truth?
In reality, no one taught any of us rules about how to incorporate these technologies in our lives – but there are rules about how to be successful. And, if dropping everything you're doing and thinking each time someone else wants you is "expected," then you should be "expected" not to get much real work done.
We teach people how to treat us. By clicking less, we can actually reshape our busy behavior to connect more and get greater results.
Bold Action #3: Brave Boredom.
Somehow, we've become afraid of boredom. This is evidenced by "helicopter parents" who spend lots of money on entertainment and activities partly to build competitive skills and talents, but also because they're are afraid what might happen should their children get bored.
Yet, it's the act of boredom that spurs someone into fresh action, that builds imagination and creativity. When we're bored, we're forced to go searching for the next thing to engage our talents, gifts, and energies.
Braving boredom helps battle the busy bee in our brains (say that five times fast). If you're over-busy, it may be time to create some white space in your week to let your brain get a little bored.
One way to do this is to change your environment. For example, I often head to a cafe or the public library to get away from the piles in my office and let my brain wander a little when my thoughts are getting cloudy. Within a corporate office, book a meeting in a joint workroom or conference room – with yourself.
Work doesn't have to always be about visible activity. A little boredom helps us create that quiet, reflective time that regenerates us and gets us ready for the next batch of busy.
