This argument has been raised nth number of times and no one has ever been able to win this debate.
In India, arranged marriages have always enjoyed an upper hand. Parents think that it is there utmost duty to find the most suitable match for their sons or daughters by looking through matrimonial or other sources. Though perception is changing slowly and lots of youngsters are opting for love marriages, it is still opposed in small towns and cities. The outgoing youth of India today feels that they are mature enough to take such decisions all by themselves. Moreover, they feel that the person, whom they are planning to spend their rest of life with, should be of their own choice. But looking at the number of divorces and separations in urban India, the question of whether love marriages can score over arranged marriages remains unanswered.
Education and media have played an important role in popularizing the concept of love marriages in India.
Amid popular love stories like Soni Mahiwal, India always had a long tradition of arranged marriages. With the coming of the British and the subsequent introduction of British education system, more Indians got educated. Movies have influenced the masses as well as the classes to great extent. The approach to love and marriage as depicted in the movies has inspired Indian audiences to the extent that now love marriages are not considered as a taboo. Also, education and exposure to the media, have to some extent changed the mindset of the people and now they have realized that they need not be bound by tradition and they can choose their own marital partners. And for this, they don’t have to depend on parents, matchmakers, relatives, astrologers or any other form of matrimony. This change in mindset and opinions gave rise to number of love marriages. Presently, in our country we have arranged as well as love marriages taking place.
Talking about love marriages, they provide time for mutual understanding between the couples which is obviously needed for any successful relation. This way they are better adjusted in the marriage when they finally take their wedding vows.
In arrange marriages, there is a pressure to conform to parental expectations like producing a male heir, taking part in family rituals and traditions, putting up with sisters-in-laws, contributing to family expenses etc. Lovers have to try hard if their parents don’t agree with the relation. That is why it is said that Love is not an easy way out!
Not all love marriages have happy endings. There are times when discord arises even in love marriages. In lot of love marriage cases, after spending a happy time of marriage, the many couples are seen regretting on their decisions. They find it hard to save the marriage and at last try to break. If they them self chosen their partner and had a perfect tuning then why this unhappy end of the relation after marriage?
But there are other repercussions as well especially for girls. At times, to adjust mould themselves in a new environment, girls have to take extra efforts and initiatives in order to woo their in-laws. Parents also at times don’t support their children and consider them responsible for their marriage.
Perhaps to avoid such a situation, now-a-days many youngsters prefer arranged marriages. People had this notion that arranged marriages used to happen only in the east but this was not always so, arranged marriages were happening even in Victorian Europe. The best and the safest part about the arranged marriage is that parents and the family is happy and they them self arrange the marriage. There are no tears and sacrifices for their permission. Arranged marriage is a safe bet for women as it offers more protection and security to the women.
It is difficult to decide which one can score over the other and which one is ideal is a never-ending debate. Be it a love or arranged marriage, marriage is based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. It needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain the relation. To support and live with each other for life-long, it requires patience, perseverance, dedication and obviously love and care. If one is able to sustain this forever, it is definitely and ideal marriage.
Love is an important aspect, whether it happens before or after marriage is not important. It should happen and then happiness will follow and that’s the secret behind a successful marriage.
