Relationship counselling is often a last resort for couples on the brink of the divorce. But some couples try counselling early on when the first problems rear their heads. Counselling is certainly something that a couple shouldn't be afraid to try, even if the problems are relatively minor. Often, catching small problems early with counselling can prevent bigger problems down the road. Early counselling can even something prevent a future divorce.
Today's couples seem more eager to try new things, which make counselling a good option. Couples married years ago seem less likely to go for counselling or try new approaches, perhaps because it wasn't something commonly done when they were younger. Very often marriages of 30 or 40 years now end in divorce, which is a shame because they'll never know if relationship counselling could have helped save the marriage.
If you feel like you need relationship counselling, be sure to as your partner to go to counselling with you in a non-judgmental way. If you ask him or her to go to counselling in such a way as it seems like you are accusing them of being the problem and needing counselling, you're likely to encounter resistance to the idea. Try to make it clear that you want the counselling for yourself if nothing else.
If you ask your partner to go to counselling because you have some issues you need to work on, they're more likely to view the idea favourably. Explain that you think you need some help to be able to contribute more to the relationship, and to learn how to be a better partner or spouse. Don't accuse the other person of needing counselling. Even if you believe that they are most of the problem, don't say so. Once you're in relationship counselling, they will learn tips and techniques for being better within the relationship, just as you will.
Don't be afraid to suggest relationship counselling, whether you've been in the relationship for 3 months, 3 years or two decades. It's never too late to try counselling to resolve problems. And it's never too late to try to keep small problems from becoming big ones. If the relationship is relatively new, you might think that you're admitting to problems and admitting that the relationship is rocky by suggesting counselling. But that's not true. But facing any obstacles now, you're making the relationship stronger in the long run.
If your partner believes that your suggestion of relationship counselling means that the relationship isn't perfect and maybe even is doomed, calmly explain that that isn't true. Just because you're willing to admit that everything is perfect shows that you're willing to make necessary changes to keep the other person and yourself happy.
If your partner refuses, go on your own. While the counselling would work best if both of you go, you can go and work on things to improve yourself. If your partner sees you going to relationship counselling, they're more likely to give it a try.
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