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In some cases, a couple’s failure to enjoy sex can result from a woman’s ignorance and upbringing.
"Sometimes a woman fails to discuss her potential in sexual relationships because of inadequate knowledge of her anatomy, of the importance of timing during the sex act, or of the need to communicate her needs to her partner,” explained Dr. David E. Larson, editor-in-chief of the Mayo Clinic Family Health Book.
“Gradually, as a consequence of bland or unsatisfying sexual experiences, she can sometimes lose interest. Worse, such an absence of desire is sometimes reinforced by the 'common wisdom', from an earlier era, that is it unseemly for a woman to experience desire or to continue experiencing it after childbearing years; such attitudes are wrong today as they were then," Larson added.
Traumatic events such as rape or incest may cause low sexual drive in both men and women. Homosexuals, for instance, may suffer from selective impotence - they can only be aroused by members of the same sex. Likewise, some transsexuals are repulsed at their own sex organs and find any sexual activity disgusting or shameful. This may explain why certain individuals are not interested in sex.
A strong religious upbringing where the enjoyment of sex is forbidden and the genitals are viewed as dirty can also translate into guilty feelings and later lead to lack of interest in sex. The problem, however, is not always psychological. It is also important to consider physical factors in assessing a person's sex drive. This is because many diseases can affect one's libido.
"The cause of a (person's) inability to have sex may be organic (that is, there is a physical reason for the dysfunction). For example, diseases such as diabetes and multiple sclerosis cause nerve damage which may prevent you from becoming sexually aroused. Similarly, pelvic infect¬ions or endometriosis can make intercourse painful," Larson revealed.
Another thing to check is your medicine cabinet since many medications can suppress sexual feelings. Drugs routinely prescribed for hypertension, heart disease, elevated blood cholesterol levels, stomach ulcers, anxiety and depression can all affect one's libido or impede a man's ability to have an erection.
The same is true with cigarettes, alcohol and other recreational drugs found in so-called "aphrodisiacs" which are not only ineffective but dangerous to health.
Fortunately, most of these problems are transient and easily reversible. For people with medical problems, libido can be restored with the right treatment. Medications that blunt or deaden sexual desire may be substituted or altogether stopped with a doctor's supervision, while psychological problems can be resolved with the help of a trained sex therapist. These simple measures can solve the problem of low sexual desire.
What about old age? Are we doomed to suffer from a low sex drive due to the aging process? Find out in the third part of this series.
If your partner has a diminished sex drive, help her recover with Fematril, a safe and natural female sexual enhancer that can stimulate your mind and body. For details, go to
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