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Article taken from Momma Explains . Momma knows that at sometime we all must deal with the passing of a loved one. How do we handle the whole funeral setting with children?
Momma Explains: When I was nine, my dearest grandmother died and I was devastated. I did not really understand death nor its ramifications but I knew I loved her desperately and wanted her back. My parents, in an effort to shield the children, did not allow us to attend the wake nor the mass and burial. To this day, I still wish that I had attended. I needed to be allowed to mourn. Not every child can handle the images and experiences of a wake and/ or funeral service. The viewing is far more difficult for a child and you must reflect on each child's maturity when deciding on their presence at the wake. Some children want to be part of this mourning process, while others stay as far from the casket and mourners as possible. You and your child should think that out and decide. Now, while the wake or viewing is an individual decision, I believe that the service part of the funeral should be a family affair. As a family we support and participate in family life together, and death is a part of the life process. Children need to learn that we have a process to death and a way to provide comfort to ourselves and others. Children need to mourn and be loved during a loss, they should not be shut out. Talking things out with your children will provide them with an opportunity to share their feelings and concerns. Often young children are frightened that their parents will die soon too, or that they themselves will die. There are good books available to help you approach the topic and I would have one available for the sad time when you need it. Do not forget the children as the adults organize and collate the funeral service. Let the children help make the scrap book or collage, if they wish. Let the support, the prayer and love embrace all ages as you mourn. Death is a part of life and we need to be parents that bring their children full circle in life's experiences so they are prepared for all that they will face in life and in death.
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