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Divorce is stressful for parents and kids alike. Children often get caught up in conflicts between parents. The children are forced to constantly witness angry and abusive fights. One of parent's greatest concerns is how divorce will affect their children. In fact, the marital relationship has far reaching ramifications for children, extended families, friends and others. The following are some perspectives on the view of children in a divorcing family. The children in a divorcing family fear being abandoned. When Mom and Dad are at odds and are either separated or considering separation, children fear that if they lose one parent, they may lose the other. Their parents may pay attention to the new families and give no attention to them. They may lose contact with extended family on one side or the other. They worry that their parents don't love them anymore and they feel abandoned. They feel like the parent who left has divorced them too. The concept of being alone in the world is a very frightening thing for a child. In addition, moving into new surroundings can cause a negative reaction. Even if there have been tension and problems in the home, some children will be shocked to learn that their parents are getting a divorce. It may take some time for them to acknowledge and accept that their lives will be different now. Children may get depressed. Sadness about parents' separation, coupled with a sense of hopelessness, is likely to lead to depression. Sometimes depression is referred to as anger turned inward. When children feel depressed they may withdraw from their parents or loved ones. They may neglect their homework, dissociate from friends and discontinue activities that once brought them pleasure. Their eating habits may change dramatically or they may engage in some form of self-destructive behavior. Additionally, depression in children often appears as agitation or acting Children may blame themselves. They may think, "If I had not misbehaved, Daddy would not have left" or "They would not have been fighting if I had been good." It is imperative for parents to talk to their children and stress that it is not their fault. Divorce definitely affects children, but with some help, reassurance and cooperative parenting your child can come through feeling loved and happy. Experts agree that when handled with patience, it is less stressful for a child to be from a broken home than to live in one, with parents constantly fighting.
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