A wedding may be appropriately defined as a ceremony in which the beginning of marriage is celebrated but in the Nigerian English and culture recognizes this otherwise. Nigerians therefore colloquially refer to the customary aspect of the ceremony as “traditional marriage” while the church Christian aspect has come to be known as “wedding”. The implication is that when people in Nigeria hear that a wedding is taking place their minds become fixated on the European aspect of it.
In Nigeria church wedding commonly takes place in the church expectedly. There could be slight differences in the arrangements but generally weddings in Nigeria take similar patterns. The man getting married is called groom while the woman getting married is referred to as bride. The dress code for couple is usually suit and wedding gown; though a situation now exists in parents wishing to concretize their marital vows or receive blessings particularly among the Catholics now appear in attires other than suit and wedding gowns.
This ceremony begins in a church usually at 900 am and may end at about 12pm, but the Deeper Life Church is known to celebrate the shortest wedding in Nigeria because this organization does not follow most of the conventional methods such as presentation of rings, cutting of cake and so on, thus a wedding at the Deeper Life Church may expectedly end no sooner than you expect it to commence.
In most Nigerian churches, the father of the bride is expected to hand the bride over to the groom supervised by the priest. It is noteworthy here that in the absence of the father the eldest man in the family takes up the position. And generally plays the role accordingly in such a manner that guests may become unaware of true position of events.
Generally the program of events for the reception may appear thus:
(i) Arrival of Guests
(ii) Introduction of the MC
(iii) Introduction of the members of the High table
(iv) Arrival of the couple
(v) Opening prayer/breaking of kola nuts
(vi) Chairman’s opening remarks
(vii) Cutting of the cake
(viii) Feeding of the bride and groom
(ix) Proposal of toast
(x) Couple’s dance
(xi) Who’s next
(xii) Presentation of gifts
(xiii) Vote of thanks
(xiv) Losing prayer
Reception ceremony in honour of the couple follows immediately sometimes at a different hall if the church where the wedding was celebrated is lacking of one or if the couple so choose to celebrate it at a different environment. A wedding reception may be incomplete without the presence of a live band to supply music and most people will prefer a Christian band because of the belief that weddings require sacredness.
When the guests are seated, the MC is expected to introduce himself after which he calls to the high table certain important dignitaries and personalities sometimes beginning with the chairman of the occasion. When all the members of the high table have been called to take their place on the rostrum, the bride and groom are invited, the MC wastes no time in reminding the guests to stand up as a mark of respect to the couple while singing and dancing to their honour. Members of the couple, bridal train and parents of the couple may also join in the precession to usher in the couple.
This is quickly followed with opening prayer. The MC expectedly calls on any one member of the high table to lead the prayer assuming if there is no presence of priest on the high table. Breaking of kola nuts may simultaneously follow. Interestingly the oldest man is often requested to come forward and do the breaking of the kola nuts. This oldest man may says his prayer which tradition may demand never to be expressed in English language because kola nuts never understands the English language. After the breaking of kola nut, a small boy passes it round to all present but all acclaimed titled holders i.e. chiefs of different sorts will be expected to pick the kola nut followed by elders in other of seniority. Please take note that women may not be involved in this arrangement until all the men have fully had theirs.
The Chairman of the occasion usually a married man full of marital experiences is better fit for this position because his speech will reflect his marital background. He takes to floor, lecturing the couple as well as the guests married and married on what to expect. A lot of these chairpersons have began centered their speeches on why they should not reveal their marriage most prized happenings or information to the outside world not even their parents and close friends. They may also advocate for tolerance among the couple stressing the need to live together. A very good chairperson of the occasion may attract a standing ovation if oration convinces the guests.
It is conventional for the MC to invite introduce the cake designer and invite him or her to introduce the cake she has prepared but this time an experienced MC will have invited some four or six witnesses to witness the cutting of the cake and briefly relate their experiences on this to the guests. With the invitation of the bride and groom, the cake designer introduces the different colours she has utilized in designing the cake pointing out the relevance of all these to the marital life of the newly weds. Finally, the MC spells J E S U S (Jesus) and the couple cut the cake. The witnesses relate their experiences on who was the first between the couple to cut the cake or generally how it all went. Moments later the couple feed themselves beginning with the bride as the owner of the kitchen.
Someone comes out to propose a toast; a man well familiar with all it all began is best situated to carry out this assignment as he relates to the guests the best of all he knew about the relation, ably presenting it in a funny way and attracting ovation from the guests. He leaves everyone in a happy mood falling about.
Couple will at this juncture take to the floor and convince the guests on who dances better, while the guests in turn are expected to appreciate this spraying money lavishly on them. Dance may last for as long as the MC considers fit as he tries to take a clue from the couple on whether they are tired or not.
The next item on the agenda becomes the tossing of the bouquet by the bride over her shoulder. Most wedding in Nigeria in recent time ignore this very item for perhaps reason having to do with time factor but where it is recognized the bride stand backing the guests and upon the sell of L O V E by the MC throws it to the single ladies who will scramble for it with the superstitious assumption that whoever picks it marries next.
The guests present gifts to the couple; it has become a convention in the Nigerian society for the Best man to receive the gifts while the Chief Bride’s maid in return reciprocate by giving out gifts to the presenters of gifts to the couple. Vote of thanks comes next and presented by the groom while anyone from the high table leads the closing prayer. I9t is then time for the couple to further their honeymoon though they may not leave the venue until the guests have entirely departed as a mark of respect. He wife is however escorted to her husband’s house by her friends and maids who may assist her in carrying some of dowries at night.
