What follow are the top five most common dating problems, with surefire ways to find solutions.
1) DISHONEST INTENTIONS
Some people enter relationships deceptively. Commonly, one partner may make a declaration of love early on with the sole intention of opening the other partner up to having sex - and it sometimes works.
The emotional injuries and trust issues caused by such deception can be deep and difficult to mend, and the potential for this is the worst for teens - younger people are often more likely to be both selfish and overly trusting of others.
If you want to explore a person sexually, just be honest. Use your judgment to make your intentions clear in a way that isn't rude or degrading. You may get rejected, but you've still done the right thing. Better yet, give your feelings a chance. The pleasure of sex can be enhanced ten fold by true, positive, empathetic emotions for your partner.
2) TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR PARTNER
Most people strongly reject the suggestion that something is wrong with their personality. Most often, criticisms about personal interests, music choices, or moral perspectives go unheeded, instead fostering angry, avoidant, or resentful reactions. This can create loads of tension in a relationship, especially if either partner is a nag.
The only way to introduce change in someone is to make a suggestion. Expose your partner to the music you love without criticizing his or her music choices, and try not to be too hostile toward a partner's bad habits or moral perceptions. You're more likely to be listened to when phrasing suggestions subjectively, using "I" language. Only seriously address the issues that are most important to you, and when discussing them, listen to what your partner says rather than trying to steamroll his or her opinions. Also, the more willing you are to change your own bad habits and expand beyond your own tastes, the more likely your partner is to do the same.
The bottom line: most of the time, you won't be able to deliberately change your partner, and you especially won't be able to achieve change by force.
3) TREATING DATING AS A GAME
This problem is related to the first one. Deception is one thing people do when not taking dating seriously, and many others can play damaging roles too.
Other people's feelings are very real, and what you do in a dating relationship can seriously affect them - sometimes in ways that can last years, or entire lifetimes. Make every effort to empathize and understand where your partner is coming from, and how he or she feels about you, at every opportunity.
You may have found that in the past, manipulation has proven effective. You may have found that nagging, threatening, or punishing via the silent treatment can get you what you want. On the other hand, you may be susceptible to this kind of treatment.
These games stem from a desire for control; that is, control of others rather than control of oneself through constructive self-criticism and thoughtful meditation. Even when these sorts of games appear to work, they aren't doing you or your partner any good, because control is achieved, in these instances, by creating a hostile divide between the two of you. If this divide gets wide enough, the relationship is destined to end in a way that will most likely be ugly.
4) TAKING IT ALL TOO SERIOUSLY
Conversely, it's very important to have as much fun as possible. No partnership is harmed by an abundance of happy shared memories. Go on fun dates, pay-wrestle, have tickle fights, turn off the TV to talk and joke. Let the little problems go whenever you can, agree to disagree, and do one another tons of small favors. It's not hard to give a back rub or a shave, and the positive feelings these things create can add up like crazy.
In addition, don't worry so much about the future that you miss the here and now. Most problems can be dealt with easily when they actually arise. For example, don't waste time hating your partner's mother unless she's actually right in front of you, and make sure that your suspicions about your partner cheating on you are based in more than just your own insecurities. Worries, when left to flourish, can breed like mad, getting in the way of all the fun you two are supposed to be having.
