The talkers
Many people talk too much. They continue to ramble on and on about whatever, without having the sensibility to know if anyone wants to listen or if people have any interest at all. Many times people continue from nervousness, believing they will be more liked if they talk more. They never have the self criticism of knowing when to stop and they never listen to what they say.
Those people are out of balance with themselves and in talking too much they lose their energy.
The other part of that imbalance is that the talker rarely listens to anyone. They can be so self-occupied or nervous that there is no room to listen to other people. They usually think that they already know what the other person is going to say, and listening to others is a waste of their time. They interrupt the other person speaking and they always have a story to tell that is similar or better than others.
The listeners
These are the people who rarely speak. This often can come from a lack of self-confidence. They don't believe their opinion is worth anything and they think they sound ridiculous.
The listeners are the people who listen to everyone else's problem and become a wastebasket, where others can let everything out. Then the listener goes home to a trusted person, telling every detail about the conversation judging and having opinions about the people. The listener normally uses other people's problems as a distraction from listening within themselves and communicating their own needs. They get an easy way out from their own situations and feel good about themselves for being the listening saint or the wastebasket.
The perfect match.
You can see how one is a perfect match for the other. The person who just talks will be drawn to the one who is just listening. The person who don't want to listen to any other is attracted to the person who doesn't talk as they don't believe they have anything to say. They are both then distracting themselves from themselves and from listening within and communicating their real needs. The truth is they don't even know their needs because they haven't focused on them. The dynamic is fascinating and both imbalances feels like a balance, but it is a fake balance.
Power games
The power struggle between people starts like a mild war of who can win an argument, who is the smartest one, who has the best defences, who can handle the words fastest and with the sharpest end. In the beginning there are nice words like "I am sorry" when someone get hurt by words. With time the warrior sharpens his sword and make sure his shield is strong and that his armour fits tightly.
Now it is just about winning. When this goes on between people at work, between friends or couples it might short term look like one wins and the other loose, but in reality both loose.
Communication with a positive intention and a willingness to understand the other person helps to find solutions to the situation.
