Take a Quiz and Find out What Kind You Are
The truth is, your pleasing behaviors are affecting your self-esteem and self-confidence.The truth is this: nothing and no one can give you self-esteem and acceptance-only yourself. Real self-confidence and self-esteem always comes from within. It's a gift you give yourself.
Answering the following questions may give in insights into your behaviors. Answer with the first thing that jumps into your mind. If you change it you are second guessing yourself and second guessing is being dishonest with yourself.
Take the quiz and use this number key for your answers.
•1. "That's me."
•2. "That's me sometimes and sometimes not."
•3. "No not me, but there are some similarities."
•4. "That's not really me."
•5. "No not me."
______1. I feel insecure and not very confident much of the time.
______2. I feel I have to "walk on eggs" to keep everyone from getting angry.
______3. My father was distant or unloving most of the time.
______4. When I'm at the grocery store and shorted a penny or two on change, I don't ask for it.
______5. I feel overpowered by my husband, boyfriend, or fiancé'.
______6. I feel I really can't do most things right.
______7. I'm always saying, "I should have, I ought to ......"
______8. My husband and children know how to make me feel guilty.
______9. I feel like hiding, running away, not dealing with things.
______10. I don't like confrontations. They're just too unpleasant.
______11. I often fake it and tell others I like what they're doing or saying when I really don't.
______12. If I try on six or seven pairs of shoes at the store, I feel I'm obligated to buy at least one pair.
______13. I often feel as if lm not really running my own life.
______14. I don't get many "strokes" from those I love.
______15. I am easily talked into choices that please other people more than they please me.
______16. When I take the initiative or stand up for my rights, I feel apprehensive or embarrassed.
______17. If I am ignored, insulted or given poor service in a store or restaurant, I let it go because it isn't worth the hassle to complain.
______18. I feel I have few choices or options to improve my life.
______19. I don't get much respect from my mate.
______20. Taking on new tasks makes me feel afraid and apprehensive.
SCORING:
25 or below -You are a SUPER SUFFERING PLEASER. You are definitely in the hands of a controller or possibly a misogynist who is constantly criticizing and abusing you verbally and, on occasions, physically. You need help, probably from an outside source such as a counselor.
25-50 You are a DEPRESSED PLEASER. You have a knack for finding the losers or the losing situations in life. You are probably tied to a "mega loser" who keeps you involved with him because "he needs you." Or perhaps you are being victimized by a husband who is a womanizer wanderer or deadbeat who can't keep a job. You are hanging on by your fingernails but starting to slip.
50-75 You are a PLAYED - OUT PLEASER. You are making a go of life, but often feel exhausted and under pressure - as if someone‘s always wanting a piece of you. You don't get respect, you wish you could stand up for your rights but you really don't know how.
75-90 You are a MILDLY DISCOURAGED PLEASER. Life isn't all that bad. You have good times to offset the bad, but you know things could be much, much better.
9O and above You are a POSITIVE PLEASER. You like to please but have enough assertiveness and self-esteem to find fulfillment, satisfaction, and enjoyment. Your family gives you the love and support you need, and your pleasing efforts are an even exchange for that love and support.
Now go back and reread the questions and circle the ones you feel you can begin to change. Ask yourself, "How can I change this behavior in myself?" Remember the first step is learning the truth about of your behaviors. Awareness is like a golden key that opens the door to change. In making a commitment between yourself and your Higher Power to do the best you can in changing that one behavior, you have chosen an important step towards your freedom and peace of mind. It's never too late to gain a healthy self-esteem and self-confidence.
