It’s easy to get sidetracked by certain things we focus on in life. There are times when too much of our focus gets hijacked by one aspect of our lives at the expense of others. For one person it’s a work project, for a different person it’s TV, for another it’s a high drama relationship or perhaps a video game. Where did that time go? Between work, relationships, health, and home, life can seem like an endless plate spinning game, with the potential of one or the other of our plates stopping rotation and crashing to the ground if we don’t pay attention to what is going on.
Not too long ago I found myself in an unhappy state in which I was working and working like a maniac with no end in sight. I was trying to ultimately create more peace for myself by working on these projects, but all I was feeling was miserable in the present moment. It was time to make some changes. I knew I needed to change my daily habits and take more time to enjoy myself and my family, but I was fixated on completing those long sought after goals I had been putting most of my attention on.
A strategy that’s been working for me has been to stop pushing to work when I had run out of steam, and go do something enjoyable instead. Strangely enough, I found that I was accomplishing more by spending less time on those tasks. How could that be?
People tend to be happier and accomplish more by following their interests instead of some linear goal oriented schedule. So when I stopped wrestling with my life, I could allow my natural inclinations to add power to what I was doing.
Keeping life in balance is no easy feat. So many things pull from so many different directions. There are the things we need to do in order to survive. There are the things we feel pressured to do by others. There are the things we need to do for ourselves,
There are the things we do to distract or entertain ourselves no matter how many other things must be done.
One of the things that concern me is all the artificial pressure we put on ourselves to achieve. That pressure not only can lead away from the shores of peaceful balance, it can get in the way of constructive movement forward as well. So how do we relax and reprioritize how we are apportioning our energy?
You have probably heard the tale of the teacher who came into his class room and filled a glass jar with rocks. He asked the class “Is the jar full?” They said “Yes!” He disagreed. He then began to add sand to jar, shaking it now and again to make it settle. He asked them again, “Is the jar full?” not knowing what he had up his sleeve next, they watched while he then poured water into this already full glass jar. He then asked the class, “What is the moral of this lesson?” One eager student raised his hand and answered, “If we try hard enough, we can fit everything in!” The teacher replied, “No. The moral of the story is …put the big rocks in first.” It’s important to prioritize our life around the most important things, and relax about the little details.
On a similar note, a while back I saw a movie trailer for the film “Bucket List.” The film was about two older gentlemen with some major health issues. One gentleman asked the other “Have you made a bucket list? “ A bucket list is a list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket.” The film then proceeded to reveal their adventures as they aspire to complete their respective lists. This idea really struck me, so after the movie, I asked my husband, “So what’s your bucket list?” As a result, we are making some big exciting plans for the coming year… but that’s tale for another time. However, I will tell you having a new and exciting goal that we can share is giving me more energy for every aspect of my life.
The “Bucket List” and the “Big Rocks” story provide very effective ways of rearranging one’s priorities. I invite you to make some lists yourself. Make headers for every aspect of your life, work, health fun, spiritual growth, relationship, etc… Now begin to fill that list out. You might find certain categories are really full, and others are almost empty. This is very telling. Either: A.) You know what you highest priorities are, or B.) You’ve forgotten the importance of those other aspects of your life. It’s also possible that both are true at the same time. This requires some self assessment as to why you or forgetting or avoiding some things on your list, while over-indulging in others. Sometimes a good reality check is the best way to find your way back to balance in your life.
Spiritually speaking, being in balance is a great importance. For those of us who are both spiritually aspiring and participating in a worldly life, this balance becomes even more critically important. It requires re-membering (putting ourselves back together) in order to be in balance. If we forget any part of ourselves, the whole suffers.
May you remember all the parts of you that are seeking to be fulfilled, and find a way to gently juggle your priorities to come to that state of balance in the most graceful way possible.
© Sylvia Brallier
Personal growth coach and author of the award winning book, " target="_self"
Dancing in the Eye of Transformation, 10 Keys to Creative Consciousness
Dean of The Anamcara Life Empowerment Program
