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The role of a caregiver for your aged parents can be compared to fighting a battle of sorts. This becomes even more obvious in case you are caring for a terminally ill patient. You are fighting a losing battle and it will end with the passing away of your loved one. However, you are dedicated to their well being, health and happiness as much as is humanly possible so that you can make their last days as comfortable and peaceful as you can.
Your fight in this battle would be with the struggles to keep up with the medication schedules, the prescriptions and the frequency of the dosage. Another enemy you may have to face is the financial concerns. With the costs of rent, food and medical care skyrocketing, you have the constant worry of managing the funds to keep the bills paid. These are daily battles with the enemies.
The greatest enemy however, is not any of those mentioned earlier. It is not the economy or the nursing home of your mom or dad, or even any concern with your elderly parents. The biggest enemy the caregiver has to fight against is resentment. Resentment is an emotion that will hurt you as an individual and will not work well for the elderly in your care.
Resentment begins to build up in your mind even before you know what is happening. You begin to brood about little things and this hampers your ability and willingness to do the best you can for your elderly parents. Losing you as the primary caregiver is the worst situation that can happen to your ageing parents because they are totally dependent on you.
Resentment can take many forms. Some resentment may be towards the system in general. The social security and Medicare systems are changing constantly and becoming more and more complex. There may be some resentment towards the facility where your parents are residing when you feel they do not provide the necessary care to your elderly parents.
The worst kind of resentment is the one against siblings or even against the ageing parent. This is a serious problem, one that becomes so deep-rooted that it changes your perception towards your loved ones and hinders your ability to care for them. It is very easy to be overcome by the resentment towards the siblings because you may feel that the role of primary caregiver has been loaded upon you just because the others were not nearby to take the responsibility. Most often, the elderly parent appears to be demanding and ungrateful, which is the reason for your resentment towards them.
In order to overcome resentment, you have to focus your mind on the reason you are fulfilling your responsibility as a primary caregiver. You have undertaken the responsibility not for your parents or your sibling's sake, but because it is the right thing to do. You are performing your duty because your parents have taken great pains and made sacrifices to bring you up and look after you. In a way, you are trying to repay a debt which can never be repaid, in your own small way. As long as you focus on the real purpose of the mission, you can keep resentment at bay.
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